A Duck!

What is A Duck!?


1.

The unsmoked end of a cigarette, usually smoked only by real bums. ie Duck Hunting - digging around in an ashtray for smokable butts.

"Yo homes, I kin get a ciggyret"?

reply: "naw man, I'm smokin ducks".

1.

An aquatic bird that, in medieval times, was used to find out if a person was a witch or not.

This stems from the very logical idea that if a person weighs the same as a duck, then that person is made of wood (because both ducks and wood float in water). And since wood burns (just like witches) then that person must be a witch, because witches are made of wood.

Therefore, the accused person(s) would be placed on a scale next to a duck, and if they balanced, the person(s) would be burned.

So, if she weighs the same as a duck, then she's made of wood. And therefore... A WITCH!

See Flint

2.

An insurance salesperson who is continually frustrated by humans who refuse to listen.

aflac, Aflac, AFLAC!

3.

What floats on water and weighs the same as a witch.

When asked by Sir Benomir, what also floats, King Authur exclaimed "A duck".

4.

A form of scientific theory used in the popular movie: Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

We found a witch! May we burn her?

A witch? How do you know she's a witch?

She turned me into a newt!

A newt..?

I got better..

There is a simple way to figure out if she is a witch or not.

Witches burn, and what else burns?

Wood!

Yes, and wood floats. What else floats?

... A duck?

Yes! So if this woman weighs as much as a duck, than she is a witch!

5.

What looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, is a duck (probably).

Where duck is used as a metaphor for something usually totally unrelated to ducks.

"Hey, is that guy a republican?"

"Well, if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck."

6.

In the sport of cricket, when a batsman is out without scoring any runs (points).

Also:

Golden Duck - when a batsman is out after only facing one ball

Royal Duck - when a batsman is dismissed by the first ball of the innings

"I didn't score any runs, I got a duck"

7.

1. Noun. The animal of the bird variety, difficult to ctch without help. Tastiest variety is the mallard.

2. A collective noun reffering to a group that occurs when an indivdual moongoose meets one or more of its kind.(Having researched all possibilities this seems by far the most logical)

1. He's a one armed duck fucker (see dumbland)

2. Look over there! There's some a duck.


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