What is About As Useful As A Screen-door On A Submarine?
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Utterly useless
A waste of oxygen
Completely worthless
A waste of space
Devoid of any purposeful function on this earth
Something about as useful as a screen door on a submarine
"This screen door on our submarine is about as useful as a screen-door on a submarine."
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After dinner treat used to decorate the delicate features of a lady's face. Usually brought along on a date by any considerate gent..