Absolutely Edit Meaning

1.

The one word that will get your boss / parent / authority figure to give you the "deer in headlights" look and leave you alone. Regardless of what is being discussed; i.e. 1)drawn out over explained instructions on how to do a simple task 2) Typical Parental Lecture 3)"Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?" situations.

Instructions On Use: Step One - Wait For Pause In

AssailentsRanting

Step Two - Make Convincing And Direct

Eye Contact

Step Three - Say "Absolutely Boss, Dad

, Officer, Etc."

Step Four - Walk Away And Proceed Going

About Your Business

BOSS: "Hey (your name) Im glad I found you. Look Ive got a

bit of a situation. You see Tim was sick today, and

that means that his typical collateral duties of

emptying the trash in the managers office hasnt

been completed. I know you know how big an issue

this is. I mean wow if I could just get you to..."

YOU: "Absolutely" (remember to lock eyes and put on your

best "Im not stupid" face)

BOSS: .............

YOU: (proceed to carry on about your business as if nothing

happened)

See last resort

2.

To do something with a furious intensity.

I absolutely ate potato chips last night instead of a real dinner.

See totally, extreme, xtreme