What is Agent 47?
1.
The main character in the assassination-themed Hitman video game series. An unmistakably enigmatic contract killer, he says little, yet is capable of a lot. Gone through many fatal situations, Agent 47 is often thought of as an end-all figure or angel of death. Dressed up in his black suit and red tie, (as well as also being recognizably bald), he sustains a clean elegance and is revered for his fiber wire skills, weapon marksmanship and high payouts at the termination of his targets. Did I mention he once disarmed a nuclear bomb?
Sneaking up behind the guard, Agent 47 readied his anaesthetic and struck with lightning speed. Taking the uniform off the sleeping guard and hiding the body, Agent 47 continued his mission with a temporary deception to further gain access to his target.
2.
The real Agent 47 is David Bateson, not Vin Fucktard Diesel.
Hey did you hear about the new Hitman movie coming out?
Yeah it should be awesome.
Not quite.
Why?
Agent 47 is gonna be that meatwad Vin Diesel. He should be portrayed by the man they modeled him after, David Bateson.
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3.
A genetically modified clone, created by a crazy ex-French Legionare named Dr. Ort-Meyer. Agent 47, often refered to as Mr. 47, or just 47, later killed his five 'fathers', who provided DNA to Ort-Meyer. 47 was trained from a young age in the skills of assassination, stealth, and firearms. He uses these skills to perform assassanations for the ICA, an assassination firm. 47 is quite strong, and can take several shots to the torso before incapacation. He has been betrayed and munipilated many times, and as a result, his trust and faith in others has been almost destroyed. 47 remains calm, even in a shoot out. At one point in time, the ICA is almost completly wiped out, but Diana 'betrays' 47, and presumably kills him, and arranges for a rival assassination agency to have his corpse destroyed. But it's revealed that Diana did not kill 47, and 47 'rises from the dead' and kills the rival assassin agency's leader. 47 appears to be asexual. Agent 47 has been in four video games (soon to be five), and one movie.
Agent 47 performed yet another perfect hit.
OR
Agent 47 does not like girls. I think he's afraid of cooties.
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4.
While you're taking a girl from behind....
YOU PULL OUT SOME CHEESE-WIRE AND FUCKING CUT HER HEAD OFF!!!
So I was fucking your mom last night and I tried out the Agent 47. Now all she can give is DEEEEP throat.
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