What is Alabama Lavan?
A disturbing sex act in which a wasteman (see 'wasteman') pleasures a cat with a spoon handle, whilst masturbating furiously and finally ejaculating on the cats back. This ejaculate is then rubbed into the fur, causing the cats fur to resemble the hair of the wasteman!
Person A: What did Tom get up to last night?
Person B: I heard that he stayed at home with his cat and performed an Alabama Lavan!
Person A: That's so wrong!