Alcoholism

What is Alcoholism?


1.

The only disease which people can be yelled at/criticized for.

Alcoholism

You may here someone yell "Damnit, you're an alcoholic!" but you'll never here someone say "Damn you, you have Cancer!"

See alcohol, drinking, drink, alcoholism, disease

2.

A vague, ambiguous term referring to people who have lost control over their drinking, and is therefore having a negative impact on their life, such as work, relationships, or health. Somewhere along the line, for the sake of political correctness and to completely liberate people from responsibility for their own actions, Alcoholics Anonymous and other such groups started referring to alcoholism as a "disease". They claim that you CAN'T bring your drinking under control, you have to SURRENDER TO A HIGHER POWER, and you have to STOP DRINKING FOREVER, because you have a DISEASE, and are not responsible for your actions, but are in fact a VICTIM.

Calling alcoholism a disease is not only false and harmful, it is also offensive. Cancer is a disease. AIDS is a disease. Lyme disease is a disease. Alcoholism is an addiction, and addictions are a pattern of behavior, NOT a disease. Alcoholism can LEAD to disease, such as cirrhosis of the liver, but isn't itself a disease. You CHOOSE to drink. You don't choose to get AIDS or Cancer.

By calling it a disease, you are throwing your hands up, and saying "I can't help it! I have a disease! I'm a VICTIM." By saying "Damn, I drink way too much. I'm the one putting the drinks into my body, and only I alone can cut down or stop", you are empowering yourself to take control of your life. The power to stop is in YOU, not an imaginary "higher power".

"I know I don't need this next drink, but I can't help it! I have a disease! The disease of alcoholism! I'm gonna have several more drinks, because it's not my fault!"

See alcohol, alcoholism, booze, bullshit, aa

3.

Contrary to popular belief, alcoholism is the act of drinking by one's self, typically while in a state of malaise.

Doug: Where's Zach?

Chris: Haha I didn't invite that crazy fuck to my party.

Doug: Terrific. You know that he spends his evenings drinking alone in his basement? He does that on nights when he has no plans.

Chris: Drinking alone!? Now THAT is true alcoholism.

See alcohol, drunk, booze, bitchassness, sniggin

4.

Very chic amongst (pseudo-)intellectuals, mostly of the hipster brand.

Sascha spends his Friday nights drunk, reading Derrida.

Alcoholism must be in this definition.

See who, really, cares, about, tags

5.

An addiction to the consumption of alcoholic beverages. In no way, shape, or form is it a disease, despite what those pompous assholes at AA try to tell you. Why the hell every other psychoactive drug in the world gets people addicted, but alcohol magically inflicts a disease, is beyond me. Smokers aren't said to have a disease because they're unable to quit smoking. Drinkers who have the exact same problem shouldn't be tagged as 'having a disease' either, but they do in order to make the AA pricks feel like they're some kind of miracle workers for "curing people every day."

Bob: "I got exactly the news I didn't wanna get from my doctor today, Jim ..."

Jim: "Me too. I recently discovered I have alcoholism and need to get cured. My doctor told me this disease could be fatal if I don't get the necessary treatment to quit drinking."

Bob: "That's nice. My doctor informed me I've got brain cancer. Wanna trade 'diseases?' All you have to do is grow a pair, get some willpower, and stop buying the shit. I wish it were that easy for me. I'll be spending the next several months getting blasted with radiation and probably won't survive. Sorry to hear about your impending battle with quitting drinking though. Good luck, I'm sure it will be a tough road to travel."

Jim: "Thanks, you're a great friend. I'll need all the luck I can get."

Bob: "The apology and wishing luck was sarcasm, dumbass."

See drunk, beer, aa, alcoholic, whiskey

6.

A progressive, fatal disease. A disease which can be arrested, but not cured with the help of AA.

Alcoholism is the only disease which you can be yelled at for having. You won't yell at someone for having polio.

Drinking is merely a symptom of the disease. It is a disease of perception. We are spiritually sick. Most people are spiritually sick, this is how our spiritual sickness manifests itself.

See John

7.

The unfortunate side effect of being around and consuming too much beer.

I used to have a secretary who wouldn't give me blowjobs, and a wife who cheated on me. Then I got alcoholism and now I can jerk off whenever I want!


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