What is Alculate?
1.
To calculate how cost effective an alcoholic beverage is. Otherwise known as the cost per shot ratio.
Ben - I am so drunk off the two Fuzzy Navals I consumed in the last 10 hours.
Neal - I just alculated that you are a sober loser.
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2.
To practice alculation, which is the science of drinking the cheapest/strongest drink at all times.
Dave – Can I order a Stoli Melon-tini?
Neal – I’ll take two shots of house vodka mixed with a shot of your shittiest whiskey.
Bartender - Not only is that Neal guy so cool, but he also knows how to alculate like a pro.
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3.
To figure out the dollar value per unit of alcoholic beverage. Examples of one unit of alcoholic beverage include: 1.5 oz of 80 proof vodka, 12 oz of beer with 5% alcohol, 5 oz of wine with 12% alcohol.
For the same price, a 750ml bottle of 100 proof SoCo alculates much better than a 750ml bottle of 80 proof SoCo.
SoCo and lime shots alculate horribly as they are 50% SoCo, 50% non-alcoholic lime juice. For better alculation, you are better off asking for the shot of 100% SoCo and squeezing a lime into it.
Mike is a genious for coming up with the term alculate.
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4.
The act of figuring out the way to get the most drunk for the least amount of money.
Mike - Guys, I picked up some Busch Light for the power hour instead of the Zima that Neal requested. I’ve never finished a power hour before, but I have alculated before and this is the cheapest, most effective way to do it.
Neal - I prefer the taste of Zima, but you're correct, this does alculate better.
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