What is Alien Vs. Predator?
1.
The movie that all but destroyed the Alien and Predator movie franchises. Released in 2004 by 20th Century Fox and was directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, resident video-game adaptation hack. Follows a group of humans as they run around a pyramid for an hour, getting killed off one by one, until the only woman left alive, Alexa Woods, teams up with the Predator, and the movie suddenly changes from a sci-fi movie to a buddy flick.
Alexa 'Lex' Woods: "They're not hunting us. We're in the middle of a war."
2.
When the two fattest, most hideous people you know hook up with each other
I witnessed Alien Vs. Predator when I walked in on Casey and Emily hooking up, and I immediately lost my eyesight and wept myself to sleep. I then contacted my therapist as I contemplated suicide, not being able to get that horrendous image out of my head.
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