Altoona Edit Meaning

1.

a. A small town in West Central Pennsylvania

b. The birthplace of civilization (at which time, it just stopped growing, and remained completely primal as the inhabitants continued to abuse pain medication and drive pick-up trucks to Wal-Mart.)

"Hey, yins! Wanna go walk around Wal-Mart?!"

2.

Small city located in west-central Pennsylvania (about 100 miles due-east of Pittsburgh). Well-known for high unemployment, alcoholism, drug abuse, right-wing closed-minded mullet-heads, guys (and gals) who love huntin' and fishin', etc, etc.. It's a town that has more in common with rural West Virginia than the rest of PA.

Locals have one of the most annoying dialects on the planet (mixture of Pittsburghese and Baltimore-ese)

90% of the population is over age 50 (most young adults who grew up there MOVE AWAY ASAP)!!!

See Pittsburghese, and add the following Altoona-English translations:

Hell-eau: Hello

Pheaune: Phone

Crik: Creek

gowon: going

3.

A town in Pennsylvania that people from out of town call quaint and people from the area know it as hell. If you take the bad part of a small city like Pittsburgh that is roughly the size and appeal of Altoona. Yes, the best definition for Altoona is, other than the metropolis of Blair County, a town with the largest drug problem per capita of any city in Pennsylvania, and the highest depression rate. Though, Johnstown was deemed the most depressing city, it was only because the people in Altoona were far too depressed to get out of bed and vote. Furthermore, Altoona is the only place on Earth where drive-by shootings are so pathetic a person can fire fifty bullets into a car and cause no damage to the driver.

I thought about going to Altoona but decided casturation seemed more appealing.

See hell, pennsylvania, wal-mart, sheetz, railroad

4.

The sweetest city in existence. It's got the only Super Sheetz in the world, and some trains. There's a mall, too.

I hear that when you die, if you've lived a holy life, you ascend into Altoona, PA.

See altoid, altoona, sheetz, a-town

5.

Also a city/town in Wisconsin, outside of Eau Claire. Basically, look at the other definition without the translaton need. (eg: drink, hunting, 50% over 50...)

It also seems that there are people in Eau Clarie whp've never heard of it.

Altoona is rather dull, most Altoonas are