Alvins, The

What is Alvins, The?


1.

Proper noun. Origins; NW Kent, SE London, early 21st century.

The feeling of dread that descends on a person before they have to embark on a long, arduous journey with little or no reward at the end of it. Commonly affects those using public transportation.

The Alvins can be particularly severe if the victim has to return home to their boring job, nagging wife or ugly children after a weekend away.

Symptoms include general antipathy towards other humans, random acts of violence on public transport and negative body language/bad posture/general slouching. These are likely to be exacerbated if the people waving them off are settling into a few beers or are merely inches away from their sofa.

Alvins, The - examples of use.

- "How long will it take you to get back to Edinburgh from London?"

- "It depends on the train, I'm getting The Alvins just thinking about it."

- "I hope you have a pleasant journey home..."

- "I seriously fucking doubt it, I've got the proper Alvins."

- "It was a good weekend away and I didn't even get The Alvins, thanks to a few cans of tramp-strength lager on the bus home.

See fear, dread, france

2.

Proper noun. Origins; NW Kent, SE London, early 21st century.

The feeling of dread that descends on a person before they have to embark on a long, arduous journey with little or no reward at the end of it. Commonly affects those using public transportation.

The Alvins can be particularly severe if the victim has to return home to their boring job, nagging wife or ugly children after a weekend away.

Symptoms include general antipathy towards other humans, random acts of violence on public transport and negative body language/bad posture/general slouching. These are likely to be exacerbated if the people waving them off are settling into a few beers or are merely inches away from their sofa.

Alvins, The - examples of use.

- "How long will it take you to get back to Edinburgh from London?"

- "It depends on the train, I'm getting The Alvins just thinking about it."

- "I hope you have a pleasant journey home..."

- "I seriously fucking doubt it, I've got the proper Alvins."

- "It was a good weekend away and I didn't even get The Alvins, thanks to a few cans of tramp-strength lager on the bus home.

See dread, france


3

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