Ambler

What is Ambler?


1.

Ambler is a small town about 10 minutes outside of Philadelphia. It has "hood" parts and nice parts. The "ghetto parts" are West Ambler which mostly looks like North Philly (behind McDonald's- which is the ONLY fast food place within the borough limits- and it's DIRTY and has a drug operation running out of it) West Ambler has a Post Legion club at the end of one of its streets where all the black people congregate on the weekend, (if they're not sitting on the steps on Oak Street drinking and doing drugs), since there's a bar in the basement of the club, and you can also buy ribs from an outside grill there on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays... then you have South Ambler which looks like South Philly,(behind the Post Office) that has a "massage parlor" that's actually a whore house, and the Park (East Ambler) which looks like Northeast Philly that's down past the (SEPTA) station that has a little family owned corner store. There is lots of asbestos here which no one wants to remove, and some HUGE abandoned, graffitied factories next to the train station. There are tons of pizza parlors in Ambler, delis and hair salons, and a corny ass "revitalized" movie theater that only plays lame independent films- although the borough officials are constantly trying to bring in new businesses, such as the new tattoo shop and a bunch of bars. There's one urban clothing store for men that no one really goes to, and new businesses usually close within one year. The demographics: mainly Italians, black people and lots of Mexicans, although you can find Asians and Puerto Ricans around, too. There are tons of bad ass white-T-shirt wearing kids that won't move out of the street when you drive through unless you threaten them. The police- who only have like 3 squad cars and one bike- are complete jerks who have nothing better to do but to harass suspected local drug dealers and kids, and there is a teen pregnancy epidemic in Ambler. Most of the kids in the borough either attend the Wissahickon public schools, or some alternative school,(since many of them are pregnant and/or have behavior problems). There is a Temple University campus in the area called "Temple Ambler", but it's actually in Upper Dublin township, 5 minutes outside of the actual borough. There are TONS of drugs available in the area- mostly in the bars, although marijuana, cocaine and crack are the most prevalent, although pills are becoming more popular. Most of the adolescent couples are interracial, and you will find nothing but mixed babies inside of the teen girls' strollers. There are lots of fights in the "hood" parts, and everyone knows everyone, AND all of their business. It is DRAMA central, and everyone always has beef with someone. There's not much to do in the area besides "chill" at peoples' houses, so most people in Ambler travel outside of the borough to find entertainment. There are many fat, non-working high school dropout welfare moms who sit around all day screaming at their mixed babies while they're waiting for their access card to get recharged. You'll see lots of tinted-out cars with rims and systems, but most of the time, they're cars from the auction, and they tend to be Crown Victorias and Nissans. You can usually see most of the hoodlums filling up and buying "Ls" (blunts) at either the BP gas station across from McDonald's, or at the ONLY 24 hour business in town: the 7-11 (which is actually across the street from the town border) on weekend evenings- you'd think it was some kind of car show. There are some thoroughbreds from the area, but you have to weed through all of the big-mouthed, non-dressing lames to find them.

Let's go cop some tree in Ambler...

I don't fuck with Ambler, too much drama.

Everyone is related around here.

I'm getting money in the borough!

See borough, a-town, drugs, weed, drama, hood, ghetto, gangsta, burbs

2.

ambler is the most boring town outside of philadelphia. there's nothing to do and the enforced town curfew is 11pm. get out while you can.

jim - yo, what are we gonna do tonight?

craig- shit nig, we live in ambler, we got nothing to do

jim - god damnit.

See ambler, ghetto, town, tags, boring

3.

Ambler is a small town about 10 minutes outside of Philadelphia. It has "hood" parts and nice parts. The "ghetto parts" are West Ambler which mostly looks like North Philly (behind McDonald's- which is the ONLY fast food place within the borough limits- and it's DIRTY and has a drug operation running out of it) West Ambler has a Post Legion club at the end of one of its streets where all the black people congregate on the weekend, (if they're not sitting on the steps on Oak Street drinking and doing drugs), since there's a bar in the basement of the club, and you can also buy ribs from an outside grill there on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays... then you have South Ambler which looks like South Philly,(behind the Post Office) that has a "massage parlor" that's actually a whore house, and the Park (East Ambler) which looks like Northeast Philly that's down past the (SEPTA) station that has a little family owned corner store. There is lots of asbestos here which no one wants to remove, and some HUGE abandoned, graffitied factories next to the train station. There are tons of pizza parlors in Ambler, delis and hair salons, and a corny ass "revitalized" movie theater that only plays lame independent films- although the borough officials are constantly trying to bring in new businesses, such as the new tattoo shop and a bunch of bars. There's one urban clothing store for men that no one really goes to, and new businesses usually close within one year. The demographics: mainly Italians, black people and lots of Mexicans, although you can find Asians and Puerto Ricans around, too. There are tons of bad ass white-T-shirt wearing kids that won't move out of the street when you drive through unless you threaten them. The police- who only have like 3 squad cars and one bike- are complete jerks who have nothing better to do but to harass suspected local drug dealers and kids, and there is a teen pregnancy epidemic in Ambler. Most of the kids in the borough either attend the Wissahickon public schools, or some alternative school,(since many of them are pregnant and/or have behavior problems). There is a Temple University campus in the area called "Temple Ambler", but it's actually in Upper Dublin township, 5 minutes outside of the actual borough. There are TONS of drugs available in the area- mostly in the bars, although marijuana, cocaine and crack are the most prevalent, although pills are becoming more popular. Most of the adolescent couples are interracial, and you will find nothing but mixed babies inside of the teen girls' strollers. There are lots of fights in the "hood" parts, and everyone knows everyone, AND all of their business. It is DRAMA central, and everyone always has beef with someone. There's not much to do in the area besides "chill" at peoples' houses, so most people in Ambler travel outside of the borough to find entertainment. There are many fat, non-working high school dropout welfare moms who sit around all day screaming at their mixed babies while they're waiting for their access card to get recharged. You'll see lots of tinted-out cars with rims and systems, but most of the time, they're cars from the auction, and they tend to be Crown Victorias and Nissans. You can usually see most of the hoodlums filling up and buying "Ls" (blunts) at either the BP gas station across from McDonald's, or at the ONLY 24 hour business in town: the 7-11 (which is actually across the street from the town border) on weekend evenings- you'd think it was some kind of car show. There are some thoroughbredsfrom the area, but you have to weed through all of the big-mouthed, non-dressing lames to find them.

Let's go cop some tree in Ambler...

I don't fuck with Ambler, too much drama.

Everyone is related around here.

I'm getting money in the borough!

See a-town, hood, ghetto, crack, cocaine, weed

4.

Ambler is a little itty bitty suburb of Philadelphia. The town is named after a chick who died in a train wreck. Secretly, the whole town is made of asbestos. There's an entire mountain of asbestos that they covered with concrete and then planted grass over, in hopes no one would notice (dead serious). There's about 10,000 residents, nearly all of whom are Italians whose last names have 18 letters and end in a vowel. There is a pizza place on every single street corner that will sell you either the best or worst slice of pizza you've ever had for $1.25. Upon visiting Ambler, you will have your choice of hundreds of different barbers, each of whom is named Frank or Angelo. Pickering Field plays host to some of meanest little league baseball you will ever see in your entire life. There are more Catholic schools than grocery stores.

Me: "I'm from Ambler."

Someone else: "Oh I hear that's a really nice town."

Me: "No that's Blue Bell."

Someone else: "Oh, ok. So where's Ambler?"

Me: "Exactly."

See ambler, wissahickon

5.

A town off of Philadelphia which has too many pizza places, dry cleaners, and water leaks. They do have an used music store and movie theatre which are both really awesome.

Ambler should be the fast food pizza capital of the world.


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