What is Ancient History?
1.
Contrary to belief, Ancient History is considered by many to be the greatest history to study. Its opposing history, Modern History, is apparently favoured by God--this is amusing as prehistoric people invented the belief of God.
Also, many supporters of Modern History have extremely small penises, as indicated by their historical figures. Take Hitler for example: Hitler was a fat minga who didn't even participate in World War II. All he was was a racist son of a bitch, standing behind a podium and ordering people around. Oh, and let's not forget that he fucked his niece and had a urine fetish.
Modern Historians usually try to discredit Ancient History by claiming that figures in ancient history were homosexual, such as the Spartans. Firstly, this is wrong. The Spartans had sex with both males and female s(How else would they have procreated?), so the correct term is 'bisexual': see, this is an example of the lack of research, arrogance and stupidity of modern historians. Secondly, homosexuality shouldn't be viewed as a bad thing. So what if someone is gay? That is their decision.
On the other hand, the people of ancient history were incredibly fit and healthy, unlike modern people. Let's take a look at Big Kev. Where is he now? Under the fucking dirt, that's where. The fat cunt died of obesity. A Spartan would have died on the battlefield, not from diabetes or high cholestrol, but from 21 million spears to the heart.
Modern historians also say that the study of modern history is the study of how the world was shaped. This is true to some extent, but how else did we get to being "modern"? Over time. This justifies the fact that modern history will one day become ancient, but ancient history will NEVER become modern.
Modern historians also say "Let's put modern weapons against ancient weapons and see who wins?" This is stupid. Clearly modern will win as they have weapons of mass destruction. However, the skill required to fight modern battles opposed to ancient battles is miniscule.
How do you fire a rocket? Pressing a button. How do you fire a gun? Pulling a trigger.
How do you thrust with a spear, or a sword, while at the same time defending yourself with a 20kg shield against an opposing team's arrows, swords and spears? You need skill, accuracy, bravery, courage, hours and hours of gruelling physical fitness.
How do you control an animal of you're on horseback? Skill and dedication to the animal. How do you control a car? You get in, put your foot down and turn the wheel.
The above factors indicate the extremities of aspects of modern and ancient warfare. They also indicate that ancient history kills modern any time of the day or night.
Now let's look at some modern reppers: Ewna lady (probably THE biggest minga out), Mrs. Davis, Moz (the only cool teacher you have repping your gay history), and countless others who are too insignificant to mention cause they FUCKING SUCK!
Now let's look at ancient reppers: Walker (legend), Spiv (legend) Bob (legend of all the legends that were ever legends), Ando (hectic legend), Pickering (legend) and pretty much every cool kid at Bally, and across the globe.
Modern history is fucking boring to study. Why? Because it's so fucking political. Who wants to sit in a room and study about how this fucking president said that to this fucking president, then they were too pussy to go fight each other, so they ordered millions of other men to fight for them, killing innocent people along the way?
Ancient history kings were there, in the FUCKING front line, coppping shit left, right and centre, risking their life to fight for a cause: love of their country. Not power. Not corporate sellout. Not money.
ALL THE THINGS WRONG WITH THE WORLD TODAY STEM FROM MODERN. AIDS came from a dude fucking a monkey not too long ago.
So, if choosing which history is better, Ancient History is the way to go. Don't succumb to modern bullshit, which forces you to learn about boring political scandals and the killing of millions of innocents for money or power.
ANCIENT FOR THE FUCKING WIN!
Hey, look at that dude. He definitely does Ancient History.
Oh shot Clint, you hectic Spartan.
Oh shot Paul, you hectic Spartan.
Oh shot Spiv, you hectic Spartan.
Oh shot Walker, you hectic Spartan.
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gone for good
"joey 'ad 'is moments" exclaimed dave, "but
at the end of the day 'e's ancient history."
3.
Can simply be described as the History chosen for deadshit losers. It has nothing to do with modern society so The Department of Education have developed a move to ban it from high school due to its irrelevance. Students are being pushed to take up as many units of Modern History as possible. Popular kids at school are asking for a fifth unit of Modern History to be introduced due to number of suicides that have been happening during Ancient History class time. Although studies show that the kids who have committed suicide were unloved and often had rare deformities of the face/genitals(tiny sized scrotums apparent in males and Ingrown penises in females) so some kids have pushed to keep Ancient History as it kills all the filthy mingas and unpopular boys.
That kid is fat, friendless and eating wheat.. He must do Ancient History
Miss Davies boobs represent Ancient History, thats how you know Ancient History is filthy!
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