What is Ankeny?
1.
The commerce and culture hub of the universe.
"Do you live in Ankeny?"
"Yes, Dowling sucks"
See
2.
The most fucking boring ass town in all of Iowa. Nothing ever happens, we've got good sports teams but underpaid teams for academics. Shows that they value stupidity and usual douchefuckness over actual intellect.
We've got some pretty stupid people and not many valuable ones. If this place were destroyed, no one would care or notice.
We've got like a total of 4.5 black people and fewer Mexicans and Asians (though we hate them, especially Gimp). We're dominated by culturally insensitive upper middle class white people who have no idea what the deal with reality is and have no idea what it is like to go without their HDTV and American Eagle jeans.
(more will be added as I need to vent)
"Yo G, what's hangin' in the shizzle??"
"*Puts head in hands* you must be from Ankeny. That's not how a real black person talks."
"How did ya know?"
See