Aol Tactic

What is Aol Tactic?


1.

To get your point across using childish, misleading and insufferable methods. Trying to convince someone (who by using such tactics one can imagine to be extremely gullible) using an idiotic and obviously deceptive approach. Although mentioned in name, the usage of this term is not limited to AOL alone.

Almost all corporations use AOL tactics to sell their product or service. All are insults to your intelligence.

- Lavalife Flash-based Advertisement:

Number of singles like you on Lavalife... (And the numbers rise from 0 and on in increasing speeds)... 17,384! Sign up NOW!

OR

How many seconds does it take the average person to find a hottie on Lavalife? (numbers displayed are 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and 9)... 9! (Of course they fail to mention the fact that it'll take someone days, if not weeks, to drag a hottie out of their home to come and meet a complete stranger)

- Microsoft's Free XBOX Advertisement:

Congratulations! You've just won a FREE XBOX. Click here to claim your prize! (With "certain conditions apply" like completing an offer and having 10 of your friends do the same, written in small characters)

- AOL's "keywords" displayed in movie trailers at the theater. (Ex: A Lord of the Rings trailer is shown, and the keyword search tip is "Lord of the Rings")

And of course who could forget the random "You're our 99872384234th visitor, you've won eleventy billion dollars!"

All are AOL tactics.

See deception, aol, retarded, capitalism, advertisement

2.

Any form of aggressive advertising that does any of the following actions, almost all of which are legal in the USA but not necessarily morally correct:

1. Use of banner ads with Microsoft Windows windows in them to make one think their computer has a problem.

2. Withholds useful information from you until you click Yes on "Do you want to install and run" so they can spread their malware.

3. Rapid and annoying moving iPods or other shiny things/status sympols that might make a Neanderthal have a four hour erection.

3a. So-called free iPods/Xbox 360s that require you to sell your name and address to loads of advertising cartels and require you to buy many other things you don't want AND require your friends to do the same.

4. Pop up/Pop under ads. Need I say more?

5. Microsoft Windows XP Messenger Service black-on-grey text ads that say your computer will die unless you install a virus on it that kills your PC anyway.

6. AOL Discs--self explanatory.

7. Any advertisement for a cult that would make the Jehovah's Witnesses blush.

8. while (1){ ~linux/home$festival -tts "Head On Apply Directly to the forehead!" }

9. Obvious corporate theft from consumers/double-dipping such as advertisements on DVDs, in movie theaters and on Cable/Dish TV.

10. Ads that make you feel sad in misleading ways, such as one for Ron the indigent atheist terrorist needs you to paypal him $20 so he can bomb a church.

11. Windows Vista which appeals to people who give up their freedom to run emulators and file sharing so they can have shiny pretty cute windows that stack like glass.

AOL tactics keep Geek Squad and Firedog in business.

Spank the Monkey and win -$20 is another AOL tactic.

See ads, spyware, malware, pop-up, eye-candy


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