What is Apelian?
1.
A pathetically out-of-touch male co-worker approaching middle-age and attempting to mask his vast insecurities with outward displays of arrogance and bullshit. Typical examples will likely brag about their "past" glorious drug addictions, boast about their female conquests at the tennis club. Will frequently wax poetic about their love of family while banging the more desperate bottom-feeding elements of the office.
person 1: Bob should really take that earring out of his ear and quit telling us about his crack relapses.
person 2: I know. He's such an apelian.