What is Arden Alarm Clock?
1.
The act of ejaculating into one's hand then slapping someone who is asleep with said hand. Particularily effective for its two-fold effect of confusion and anger on impact, then realization and horror of having cum on your face.
When Tuesday dropped the Arden Alarm Clock on Clint, Clint recalled with a hearty smile the daily remembrance of waking with a yellow, crusted cheek.
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1.
A quick, unannounced, discomforting movement of the bowels.
Good thing I was close to the bathroom, because some unhappiness appeared, ..
1.
A person who uses or computes metrics.
John/Jane Doe is known as the local "Metricationist" due to his/her superior abilities..
