What is Ashburton?
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The tourism and adventure capital of New Zealand. Founded in 1876 by two transvestite hookers, an old guy and a dog that played basketball because it wasn't against the rules, Ashburton quickly became known for excitement, prostitution and backgammon. Recently it has developed into a sprawling cityscape, and has plans to hold the New Zealand national sheep-boxing competition.
Ashburton is the old-people meat export capital of the world.
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The Asian equivalent of the Blue Man Group. Not to be confused with a Yellow Man Grope, which is just nasty.
Person 1: Did you see the..
