What is Asian Parents?
1.
Asian parents are not your typical white or any other race parents.. Here are the diffrences that make us asian teenagers more depressed then other people(this concerns 90% of the asians that are living in Canada or U.S)
1)We DO NOT get allowance
2)We DO NOT get to stay up till past 10pm supposivly due to affecting our grades
3)The only thing that our parents make for dinner is RICE AND FISH, RICE AND FRIED CHICKEN, RICE SOUP FRIED FISH, RICE MONGO FISH.
4)If you get below a B then they take something you love or like to do away from you until you get back up in next semester
5)THEY HIT US, mom bitch slaps, Dad throws you against wall or gets the belt and whips you until you start crying.
6)They CONTROL your life.. Your personality, what you believe in, your appearance.. and if you refuse what they tell you to do, they will take your computer away and ruin MY FUCKIN GAMING CAREER CAS IM ONLY ALLOWED 6 HOURS A DAY AND they didnt let me go to Dallas Texas which was $400 for plane that i was able to pay for myself that cud of ended up with 7 grand and it was during the summer break FFS >_< ...... I wanted to be a pro gamer, or a garbage man, not a fuckin doctor!! im too lazy and dumb to be a doctor so stop telling me i have to be a godamn doctor.. I WISH I HAD WHITE PARENTS GODAMIT!!
7)You have basicaly have to do all the chores in the house..
word of advice, do not get ur driving license until you move out of your asian parents house, or it will be a "Go to the supermarket and get ricebags license"
Asshole dad: "Get a haircut your hair is too long, you like a girl u fag"(actual quote)
Me: No! its my hair stop telling me what i have to look like.
Asshole dad: "If you dont shave ur head then im taking away the computer until u get ur haircut"
Me: Aw shit WTF..
*Gets a 12 year old haircut*
Asian parents are like living in thier generation planting seeds in the rice farms
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2.
Asian parents.... they seem like any other type of parents... don't they? Well, I guess you're wrong. These are the people that start getting a whole load of us Asian kids upset. Here are some things that happened to me:
1. Not letting their kids play real sport, like rugby union, claming that it will affect their studies and it's too dangerous. Eventually, they'll let you play... but you gotta wait forever.
2. If you don't get good grades, you're screwed. They'll hit you and kill you until you promise to study harder for the next exam.
3. They don't care about your physical health and social life, they just care about your studies.
4. They want you to be a doctor/dentist. No way...
5. They want the best school for you... no matter if it's 2 hours away.
6. You got all A's and just one F in your report card. They'll kill you and belt you for that F.
7. Your parents see a girl hug you at the age of 16. They belt you because the girl hugged you.
8. You play games for over one hour. Asian parents will kill you for it.
9. Got into a sporting gala day? Asian parents wont let you go because they're worried about you missing out on a day of school. Gosh damn, it's only ONE DAY!
10. Every evening it's rice, rice, rice and more rice.
11. "Don't watch MTV, study! You're wasting your time on watching uselsss music videos!" says Asian parents.
These are just 11 of thousands of wrong things that Asian parents do to you. From this, it is sensible to infer that a majority of Asian parents are just dickwads.
I got 97% in my test, my Asian parents are going to kill me. - Typical Asian kid
I got a Satisfactory in my report... I'm dead. - Typical Asian kid dictated by Asian parents
Fuck! I'm into summer school, when did I even register? - Asian kid
See
3.
(This applies to a majority of asian kids in the US) The reason Asian kids in are very depressed, here are the charateristics of them:
1. THEY ARE OBSESSIVE ABOUT YOUR GRADES. They want you to go to a good college like a UC or Harvard and stuff and get tons of scholarships and be rich lawyer or doctor. Here are grade when it comes to asian parents:
A - Asian standard, the only acceptable grade.
B - Bad
C - Catastrophe
D - Death
F - F***'d
Tip- DO NOT tell them you have a bad grade when they are in the kitchen! Most of my fellow asians in my town keep shoes near the kitchen area, if you tell an asian parent you bad grade in the kitchen you could get shoes thrown at you, you could get maimed by utensils and if they are near the knifes you are just plain screwed.
2.THEY ARE CONTROLLING.
Who you are, what you wear, what you do- it's all up to them
3. THEY THINK ANYTHING YOU DO ASIDE FORM STUDYING IS A WASTE OF TIME.
4. THEY ARE ABUSIVE.
It's simple, you don't meet up to their standards they have no problem in getting rid of you.
5. Rice. And fish.
6. If you have many possessions they will take them away. If you don't they will just take away your dignity.
Asian kid: I got a freakin B on the test! I'm dead!
Friend who got an A and doesn't have Asian Parents: Listen! You can switch tests with me! It's a scantron! They will never know!
Asian kid: We can't, they will find out somehow! I'm screwed either way!
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4.
They are total douchebags that have total and utter control over your life.
1.
Asshole dad: YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY NOW! YOU HAIR TOO LONG! SO UGLY!
Me: Why can't I look the way I want?
Dad: YOU LOOK LIKE GIRL! DO YOU WANT PEOPLE THINK YOU GIRL?!!?!??!?!?!
Me: How is 3 inch long hair girly?
Dad: NO MATTER WHAT, YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY! OR I TAKE YOU LAPTOP AWAY!
Me: ... *gets a lopsided haircut that makes me look like a fucking nerd. Asian parents fail. *
2.
Faghead dad: Did you do your homework today?
Me: Yeah
Dad: did you do your homework today?
Me: Yes.
Dad: did you do your homework today?
Me: YES!!!
Dad: WHY YOU YELL? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO YELL AT ME!
Me: Well obviously you couldn't hear me so I had to yell
Dad: SHUT UP!!!
Me: Fine...
Dad: YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST KID EVER. *beats*
3.
This is a true story. I was in 4th grade, and my mom was trying to teach me how to add fractions. I didn't get it at the time, and here's what happened:
Mom: Do #1
Me: *does it, gets it wrong*
Mom: WRONG! HOW YOU FORGET? DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR!
Me: I'm trying!
Mom: WATCH!!! *does problem, expects me to magically know how to do it* Now do #2
Me: *still doesn't get it, gets it wrong*
Mom: STUPID! DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR! *bitch slaps*
Me: *sobbing* I don't know how!
Mom: *angrily does the problem, and breaks the pencil in the middle* SHARPEN IT!
Me: *sharpens*
Mom: Now do #3!
Me: *gets it wrong. How does she expect me to learn this stuff in a day as a 4th grader?*
Mom: YOU ARE THE MOST STUPIDEST KID IN THE WORLD! *goes in a bitch slapping and punching frenzy*
Me: *ends up with lots of bruises*
4.
Fucktard dad: *watching '24' with me* This is the stupidest show ever. All it does is label chinese people as bad guys
Me: ... There are american terrorists too...
Dad: This is the most unrealistic stuff ever. Bullshit. How does jack survive everything?
Me: How come martial artists in chinese movies can fly? Unrealistic much?
Dad: Shut up
See
5.
1) If you're on the computer for more than an hour (not studying)- bam they'll take away your computer away, ground you, punish you..whatever they feel like doing.
2) They want you to study..all day every DAY! They have some vision that kids will just decide to study all day in the summer for fun after they had to put up an entire school year of it!
3) They CONTROL your life, and most asians don't realize this until they read this. Asian parents control what you wear, who you hang out with, if you can do something, if u can't, what you look like; YOUR HAIRCUT?
Actual conversation between and mom and asian boy.
Mom: You need haircut, you look like girl.
Boy: But I like my hair mom!
Mom: No you need now1@@!@!@!@!! - drags boy to haircut salon -
4) They get ticked off really easy, Let me give you an example (PROVEN)
Girl: it's not like I want to spend all day studying
Dad: this is for your OWN GOOD, this wastes everybody's time, it doesn't help us!@!@
Girl: But I just --(cut off)
Dad: 2!#@!#@#@!#@!@!@$#$#%#235%@ STOP COMPLAINING2!@!@ YOU ARE USELESS, YOU KNOW I COULD SEND YOU OFF TO A PUBLIC SCHOOL AND YOU CAN BE NO ONE21@!@!@!@!@!@!!@!#!@#$@!$!#$@#%$%$^%$^%@!#!@!#!@#@!$
5) Their grade system
A- only thing acceptable
B- beating
C- seriously kid, you better runaway now!
D- death
F- *********************
6) You can only be a doctor, or a dentist
7) They think anything besides studying is a waste of time (PROVEN)
8) You can only do swimming, or tennis as a sport because everything else is too 'dangerous'
9) Every evening, it's rice, rice, and more rice, when was the last time I had a biscuit or somethin? I like biscuits :/
10) They think every word is a bad word, when really it's just a word you might say as you grow up!
For example:
Stupid, butt, butthole, shut up,
You know, the things you might call your older brother if you're really mad at him. (not cussing though)
11) BONUS: IF you cry, they don't care, they don't try to understand you feelings, they don't care, they just think everyone was brought up in China or Vietnam like them and love to study, And if you have a suck-up perfect brother, he likes to give speeches that make sense but make you sound retarded and stupid and like you don't know what you're talking about.
Asian Parents torture
See
6.
naive, reckless, emotionless, careless, ignorant people...usually.
on rare occasions, you have the asian mother who is somewhat whitewashed and doesnt giv a fuck cuz she has her perfect son to worry about instead of paying attention ot her dumbass daughter. but the father fits the stereotypes 110% of the time.
grade scale:
A- acceptable
B- bullshit
C- cunt
D- death
F- there is no such thing
SAT:
2400- well no one gets this score
2300- brags about you to other asian parents
2200- expected
2100- why didnt you get a 2200?
2000- maybe a U.C.
1900- okay
1800- alright
1700- acceptable
1600- fail
anything below 1600 and you will be disowned and promised to be kicked out the day you turn 18
kid #1: why cant u go to the bonfire tonight?
kid #2: i'm not allowed to stay out late...even though im 17.
kid #1: oh thats right i forgot u were asian.
kid #2: im just gonna smoke a bowl in my room with the door locked so i can escape for a few hours.
kid #1: are you grounded
kid #2: no. i have asian parents.
See
7.
utterly obsessive in one's life and you'll always be the kid no matter how old you are. 40? Still a kid.
Farked asian parent: Your study no good enough!
You: But I have got all high grades and soon off to exchange through scholarship which is really hard to get!
F.A.P: WA? You go by yourself? NO you CANT go anywhere, until you get married.
You: I have a LIFE of MY OWN you KNOW?
F.A.P: NO! You CAN'T GO BY URSELF, your mother go with you, or I go with you, you choose.
You: Hell NO! I can take care of myself for christ sake! I'm AN ADULT!
F.A.P: NO, your a KID, you don't know how to do anything, you don't know how to cook, how to clean, how to wash, how to take care of yourself!!!
You: WTF?!??!!! DID U EVER LET ME LEARN IN THE FIRST PLACE? BLOODY HELL, NO ONE WAS BORN TO KNOW HOW TO DO EVERYTHING, I WILL LEARN MYSELF WITHOUT YOUR DARN HELP!!!
POINT BEING:
obsessive asian parents will first control your life by doing everything for you, and make you study and work day and night, so you dont have time to learn the everyday skills. And then when your old enough, got some success in ur studies and career, and want to live on your own, they throw you the line: YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF...WTF... just to keep you with them FOREVER...
SO FARKED I SWEAR!!!
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