Ass Is Grass

What is Ass Is Grass?


1.

An expression foretelling a person's doom or demise. Originated from the fact that a murdered person's body decomposes and then provides fertilizer for grass, hence the "ass" becoming grass.

Your ass is grass if she gave you head while we were dating.

See Satan

2.

Expression used to imply that one will be brought down, destroyed, or "mowed over."

If you get in our way, your ass is grass.

See destroyed, ruined

3.

you;re done, finished, kaput, over, one doomed motherfucker

that dude that porked my ol lady? His ass is grass.

4.

Shorthand for the full expression of, "Your ass is grass, and I'm the lawnmower!"

Implies that the person making the statement has directed certain doom of one sort or another on the person to whom the statement is directed. When the shorthand is used, it simply means that the person is doomed, has made an unrecoverable critical error or has otherwise made a mistake that puts ones own life, freedom or choices at some degree of peril, which is not necessarily always or even most times fatal. When the full statement is used from one person to another, it also means that the person making the statement believes with a high degree of confidence that s/he has total control or domination over the person to whom the statement was directed. Examples of this in society and popular culture include authority figures such as parents, military officers, etc.

The notion that "ass is grass" has anything to do with post-death bodily decay and/or fertilizer is a misdirected urban legend by pompous buffoons trying to impress someone with a creative but ultimately false etymology.

Parent to child: "If I catch you with pot in the house, your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower."

Child to friend: "Oh man. I got three Fs on my report card. When my dad hears about this, my ass is grass."

Child to friend: "My parents said I'd be grounded if I didn't bring my math grade up from a C to a B."

Friend: "What'd you get?"

Child, pausing: "An F."

Friend: "Sounds like your ass is grass."

Husband to wife's lover, while picking up bludgeoning weapon, after finding wife and the other man in bed: "Your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower."

Kid playing video game who just lost his last 'life point'. "Aw, my ass is grass."

Military drill sergeant to troops: "Move scumbags! Move, move MOVE! Didn't you hear me, Jones? I said move, and when I say move, you move, and you move NOW or your ass is grass, and I'm the lawnmower, do you understand that Jones?"

Jones, ideally while MOVING NOW: "Sir, yes, sir!"

Driver seeing sirens in the rear mirror, muttering to self. "My ass is grass."

See ass is grass, ass, grass, lawnmower, screwed, fucked, destroyed, grounded, dead, game over, finished, done

5.

This is already defined here, but the tag line hasn't been mentioned! "...and I'm the lawn mower!"

"Your ass is grass, and I'm the lawn mower!"

See ass, grass, lawnmower, trouble, mean

6.

Yes, it does imply the addressee's doom, but for a slightly different etymology, see the quote below:

Sergeant to buck private: "Your ass is grass and I'm the mower."

See doom, revenge, army, history


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