Asshole Parking

What is Asshole Parking?


1.

1) When another driver pulls in a spot closest to the door and you have been looking to find close parkingfor the last 5 minutes. You saw a keyless remoteunlocking a car, the lights blinking and calling you! " OPENOPEN OPEN"

You punched it around the opposing lane, so you could pull in at the proper angle, half crazed to get to it! And then some FUCK who JUST pulled into the lot, driving the wrong way, gets it by backing into YOUR spot just as you round the farthest edge of the corner!

2) When you follow someone for 5 minutes at a >1 MPH snails pace, Looking to get his parkingspace, you are happily lured along, like some 16 year old on his first bong hit, with the shiny keys to their car that are dangling from their hand and swinging around at you like a fuckin' hypnotist or some kind of Christmas presentor something, in an ONE WAY underground covered parking lot - all the while the voice in your head is thinking "YEAH BABY! GOT A SPOT! I GOT A CLOSE SPOT!" - and the bastard suddenly looks confused and turns around and goes the other way while the car behind you has been flashing his lights at you for the last two minutes!

1) OH NO! OH NO! NO YOU DID NOT! OH NO YOU DIDN'T! I did not just see some Asshole parking in MY SPOT!

2) CLICK! AIM! BANG!

See bang, asshole, parking, parking lot, fuck, bastard, confused

2.

To take up two parking spaces with one vehicle, where one would have sufficed.

Can you asshole park for me so that when I come back later I can fit my car next to yours.

See Kevin


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