What is Asstastrophe?
1.
A situation that occurs when a blind date shows up being significantly more overweight than you expected, either based on retouched or outdated photos they have shared, or exaggerated descriptions of themselves as being "athletic and toned" or "average." A highly common occurence among online daters.
"How was your date last night with that lawyer you met online?"
"It was a complete ASSTASTROPHE! I mean she had a cute face, but she had to wedge herself into the chair, and it clung to her butt when she stood up!"
See
2.
The joyful bliss of one-night stand with one whom you thought was gorgeous, only to later find out to your demise that the one you actually slept with was the beautiful girl's lonely and utterly repulsive Quasimotoesque best friend, clearly a well thought out and deceitful plan masterminded by the beauty in question and her valiant steed and faithful sidekick, the culpret.
I musta been wasted last night. I thought I hooked up with this fine ass chick, but when I woke up this morning and saw her I realized that she might quite literally be one of the ugliest girls that I have ever seen. Her back was full of backne and her head looked like a watermelon. I can't believe I hit that, boy what an asstastrophe.