What is Auditor?
1.
A person who works upwards of 80 hours a week , travels constantly, and drinks excessively. Probably works for EY, PWC, Deloitte, or KPMG. Charges clients between $250 and $1100 an hour to perform work that could be done by a team of trained monkey's. Auditors generally have no social life as all their spare time is taken up by work related events. Most external auditors leave their firms within 5 years to take up middle-upper management postitions in order to spend time with the family that they forgot they had. Those who are left behind eventually become partners and sit in their offices all day counting their money, stained with the blood and sweat of 25 year old college grads.
I basically just gave up on life so i could become an auditor earn lots of money and never spend it.
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2.
Creature of the night, that survives daily through consumption of 20 cups of coffee.
T is a damn good auditor.
3.
Whiny individual that is upset with themselves for the career path they've choosen. Often breaks down in tears because the whole world is against them. Rarely do they have a spine. Can generally be placated with a lousy salary and a gift certificate for $10 at Starbucks.
I went to school for a total of 20 years to become an auditor. My parents are so proud of me, but I think I'm developing an ulcer and anticipate having a heart attack so I can take a vacation
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4.
Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets the wounded.
After the market crashed and we filed for bankruptcy, a team of auditors descended to pick the flesh from our broken bones.
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5.
Whiny individual that is upset with themselves for the career path they've choosen. Often breaks down in tears because the whole world is against them. Rarely do they have a spine. Can generally be placated with a lousy salary and a gift certificate for $10 at Starbucks.
I went to school for a total of 20 years to become an auditor. My parents are so proud of me, but I think I'm developing an ulcer and anticipate having a heart attack so I can take a vacation
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6.
The 21st century Gestapo. Will love you long time whilst going through your work to make sure everything is on the up-and-up but then will stab you in the back with an electrified letter-opener.
Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be
Auditor: "So pleased to be working with you! Could I see your ledger please?"
Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".
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