What is Australian Rules Football?
1.
According to a study by Sydney's Macquarie Univerity, you are more likely to get stabbed going to one game of Aussie Rules a year, than you are if you go to a nightclub every Saturday night for a year.
Thankfully the AFL-friendly media here in Australia manage to do a good job of covering this up.
Person1: Dude, Michelle got stabbed yesterday!
Person2: Thats what you get for taking her to the Australian Rules Football.
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2.
A sport where the criminal activities of players can be overlooked. Search "afl drugs" , "afl rape" , "afl gang bashing" , "afl player drink driving" , "afl player assaults policewoman" , and the most insidious of all "afl sexual assault hush money" . It's an attitiude that filters down to the lower grades in acts of violence and racism(search "werribee junior afl team assaults disabled girl" and "grubbers attack jewish man" for details). They also recently exported their mindless criminality and violence to Ireland in the form of a "hybrid" international that combined the idiocy of professional AFL with the athletic prowess of amatuer gaelic football, the series now appears to be abandoned after complaints of violence and thuggery both on and off the field from the Irish. (search "Fevola assaults Irish barman", of course he apparently assaulted him after standing at the bar spitting into a pile of a teammates fresh vomit, did I mention they are all class?)
The governing body has made the wise decision of contracting media outlets to provide "favourable coverage" which is why it's mindless band of supporters seem to believe it to be an unstoppable force that will over-run world sport, unfortunately for them the reality is that it's taken over 100 years to gain any level of support from more than 1/2 of Australias population (NSW & QLD), and that is on the back of the mass migration of Victorians to the Northern states.
Also known as aerial ping-pong, forcings-back, fagball, gAyFL, AwFuL and the Australian Felon League. It is the only sport that rewards mediocrity by awarding points for missing a shot at goal.
AwFuL supporter - Did you watch the footy?
Normal Human - Sure did, did you see Benjis try?
AwFuL supporter - No, I mean AFL.......Australian Rules Football
Normal Human - Why would I watch that rubbish, are you trying to imply I'm gay? Or some sort of criminal groupie? I would never follow that tripe, now remove yourself from my sight and return to whatever hole you crawled out of.
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3.
Imagine a game of soccer.
Now take the following steps to reduce the skill as much as possible;
1) Remove the crossbar, so the ball can be kicked 10 meters over the opponents heads and still be a goal.
2) Reward the players with 1/6th of a goal for missing the target.
3) Remove the offside rule, so the forwards literally just stand around in front of their oppositions' goal and wait for someone to kick the ball to them.
4) Allow players to use their hands to catch and punch the ball.
5) Carrying on from point 4), give a player a free kick every time they catch the ball.
6) Change the shape of the ball so that it can travel further when kicked. This will help reduce the amount of passing ( = teamwork) needed to get the ball from one end of the field to another.
7) Remove all strategy. Make supporters so dumb that they actually *complain* when teams employ basic tactics such as flooding the defence, holding up the ball to look for a decent pass and running the clock down while keeping possession at the end of a match.
Now add some silly and fairly arbitary rules such as;
1) It is against the rules to push a player in the back, but it is allowed to run in from behind him, jump up, stick your knees into his back and catch the ball.
2) If you tackle (= bear hug & throw to the ground) a player, you get a free kick. Unless the umpire decides the tackled player did not have a chance to get rid of the ball before/while he was being tackled, in that case the umpire will bounce the ball instead. Unless in the course of the tackle you pushed him in the back - in that case he gets the free kick. Understand?
There you go, that is Australian Rules Football.
I don't have the skill required to play soccer, so I play Australian Rules Football instead.
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4.
a very poor uncompeditive excuse for a game where gay or very feminine excuses for men squeeze into tight shorts and gay little singlets .during game play they kick the ball and jump like girls to catch the ball and aim to get the ball between four posts. if the player misses the middle posts but gets the 2 outer posts they get points for missing the main points.this game is so popular it is played in australia and has no international games between countries only a silly cross between gaelic and gayfl football.unlike the much more enjoyable rugby league which has an international fan base countries that play league are as follows ,new zealand ,england,wales,scotland,ireland,tonga ,fiji, france, papua new guenea ,russia has a small comp the us is growing into a good comp.all of these nations might not be able to compete with australia new zealand great britan but they do play the game.gayfl is the worst game in the world equal only with soccer
GO THE MIGHTY RAIDERS
real men play league girls, sooks, dickheads,gays play afl
son} dad i want to play rugby league all the gay boys at school play australian rules football
dad}thats ok mate i wouldnt subject my worst enemy to that queer afl game
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5.
australian rules football can be described as the most skilless and effiminate form of football. Supporters are Australian possessing an IQ well below the requirements for basic shoe lace tying. Supporters are easily brainwashed by the AFL into thinknig that the sport is the most skillfull and physically tough sports around. In reality it possesses none of the skills and fancy footwork used in football, none of the physical strength toughness and fast hands needed for both forms of rugby.
Game is best described as: a bunch of sweaty blokes humping each other to the ground to get a touch of the oppositions arse and balls.
australian rules football= winter training for cricket
Tool: Bro lets watch a game of footy.
Real Auuseie: Fu.ck of back to melbourne you poof!
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6.
The most over-rated football game in the world. Skinny weak 'men' fumbling a football around for 2 hours. No skill. No courage. No toughness. No contact, It's called 'Aussie Rules' by its southern fans. Everyone else in Australia calls it 'Pussie Rules' or 'Netball with kicking'. Give it a miss.
Watched netball? Add kicking and that is what you have. 'Aussie Rules'. Netball with kicking. A girls game.
7.
An exciting, fast paced and skillful game played in Australia, primarily in the southern states and out towards the west. hated by most people from New South Wales and Queensland, who much prefer rugby league and union, both great codes in themselves.
Australian Rules is designed to reward attacking style play, rather than defending ones own goal. this leads to high scoring matches, especially since a goal is worth 6 points.
unique in the way in which the game rewards a miss on goal with a solitary point, but is fantastic in that it leads to sides coming back from less than a goal down to win a game with a shot on goal once the final siren has sounded - as thrilling as any football ("soccer" *groans*) penalty.
currently 16 teams exist in the game, but will soon be 18, as new sides are being assembled in western Sydney and the Gold Coast. i wish them luck - they're gonna fuckin need it having 3 people show up to each home game.
Despite what many other AFL fans say, i will tell you straight up that the sport is not, and will not, be big outside Australia any time soon. and btw yes i am a very passionate AFL supporter.
A fantastic sport for the millions of passionate fans, i strongly recommend you look into it, you'll most likely either love it, or become confused and angered by it.
Me - "went to the Anzac day game yesterday"
Some bloke "Australian Rules Football? any good?"
Me - "Essendon beating Collingwood in front of 90,000+ people? of course it was fucking good, go play in traffic.
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