What is Ballipede?
1.
A strange combination of a great basketball player, a centipede, and the savior of the Christians, Jesus Christ.
It is said to have rivaled Raptor Jesus but has never caught on in the same way.
Rumor has it that he has been seen commenting on some articles in Gizmodo but has never had anything useful or intuitive to say.
He is referred to in psalms 23.5:
The LORD is my Balla, I shall not make a shot.
2 He makes me lie down in green centipedes,
he leads me beside quiet squozen lambs,
3 he destroys my balling spirit.
He guides me in paths of centipedes
for his balla's sake.
4 Even though I ball
through the valley of the shadow of ballipede,
I will fear no evil,
because the ballipede is not evil, he's just a balla;
your skills and your crossovers,
they dominate me.
5 You prepare a balla court before me
in the presence of my opposing ballipedes.
You toss the tip off;
my jump overwhelms the opponent.
6 Surely skizzles and swats will follow me
all the minutes of this game,
and I will dwell on the failure to beat the ballipede
for he is the best balla of them all.
7 Sincerely Yours,
Jesus, "The Ballipede", Christ
Guy 1: Oh my! The Ballipede just healed a person!
Guy 2: That's amazing centipede jesus, but How'd you do i-
The Ballipede: I'M A BALLIPEDE, LOL!
See