Ballooncock

What is Ballooncock?


1.

A crime perpetrated on a man who is sleeping outdoors. First a helium-filled balloon is attached to the man's penis, then the penis is severed at its base. The unfortunate victim awakens shortly afterwards to experience pain, blood-loss, and the heart-breaking sight of his pride-and-joy floating away, never to be seen again.

Lady Astor: "If I were your wife, sir, I would ballooncock you as you slept."

Winston Churchill: "If I were your husband, I wouldn't want to keep it anyway."

See balloon, cock, revenge, lover, painful


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