Baptist Edit Meaning

1.

A member of one of several hundred Christian denominations who all agree that the the Bible is the literal word of God, but don't agree with each other. See fundamentalist, fucktard

Q. What religion are you, Reformed Baptist?

A. No, they're going to Hell(tm). I'm a Sovergn Grace Baptist.

See baptist, christian, xian, repugnican, fundamentalist

2.

The reason I have to drive 30 miles to buy liquor. Also the reason I can't buy liquor on Sundays.

I'd love to live in a city not run by Baptists so that I don't have to drive to the ghetto to buy liquor.

See racist, sexist, homophobe, village idiot, blumpkin

3.

Part of a Christian movement relating to protestantChristianity. Baptist emphasise Believers Baptism, ie accepting God as saviour and Lord and being dunked in a pool of water in front of hundreds of people. In the late 1990s, there were about 43 million Baptists worldwide with about 33 million in the United States.

Baptists often form working groups, ie Southern Baptist Alliance, to support each other. There is also a Baptist World Alliance which is chaired by Rev. David Coffey

He is part of the Baptist family

4.

A variation of the Christian religion, it is common in the United States in an area known as the Bible Belt, which covers all of the Deep South. Baptists claim that they are the original church, started by John the Baptist, but this is untrue. The Baptist religion, like all other variations of Christianity, exists only because of Martin Luther, who instituted the much needed Reformationduring a time of great corruption in the Catholic Church.

Baptists beleive that heaven is reached through, of course, baptism, and deep faith in Jesus Christ. They are know for their aggressive recruiting of new followers and almost militant approach to people who challenge their beleifs or do not fit their ideals. They are almost competitive with other religions in their attempts to gain followers.

Their Churches are usually large and impressive, and the bigger ones are well funded, or privately owned.

Baptist children will ask you if you beleive in Jesus Christ, and may tell you that you are going to Hell if you say no. They tend to completely accept their parents opinions without question.

And discussion with a Baptist about religion will most likely turn into an arguement about the fate of your soul, who will probably be heading downstairs, in their opinion.

Baptists also tend to make a great fuss about such topics as birth control, abortion, war, and the death penalty. They usually refuse to hear anyone else's veiwpoint on these issues and will frequently use the name of God to justify their ignorant opinions. They tend to be hypocritical on these issues and become flustered when proven wrong.

Baptist: Accept Jesus into your heart as your savior!!

Some Guy: Bitch, I'm Catholic.

Baptist: Let's bomb an abortion clinic and then go kill those heretics in Iraq!

Some Guy: Whatever happened to 'Thou shalt not kill?'

Baptist: Let's pass a law against birth control and abortion!

Some Girl: So... what are you gonna do if you daughter gets pregnant?

Baptist: Oh, well, we'll have the doctor take care of it.

Some Girl: That's not gonna happen if birht control is ILLEGAL. Idiot.

Baptist: ... You're going to hell.

See baptist, idiot, fuckmook, dumbass, abortion, war, birth control

5.

A synonym of fucktard and asshat.

Look at that pathetic baptist, still fretting over gay marriage. What a fucktard.

6.

A protestant denomination which bileves in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, through faith and not works. Baptist bileve in baptism by submersion, and they take The Great Commission very seriously.

A person who is a member of the baptist denomination

See misunderstood, caring, kind

7.

right-wing christian wackballs who believe the bible is the literal word of god. there are many different kinds of baptist, all claiming that they are the true ones going to heaven, because they believe one minuscule detail that some other kind doesnt, and that other kind is going to hell. pretty messed up, but can be really nice people. don't get that the bible's stories can all be translated metaphorically to represent larger things in life.

Baptist: "well, in the bible, some children are stoned to death because they disobey their orders, so i guess we should all stone jimmy for forgetting to do the kitty litter last night..."

See south, christian, bible, stoning