What is Basildon Bagpipe?
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The art of Basildon Bagpiping is a complex but highly rewarding process. Your partner must "juggle" your nuts in her mouth at the same time as wanking you off with her left hand and fingering your arsehole with her right.
Fuck Fig - "That lass I scuttled last night was absolute filth. She was straight into the Basildon Bagpipe like a Glaswegian five quid hooker."
Spatchcock - "Bloody ell, you dirty bastard."
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Where one is so fat that the fat crushes the vocal chords to a point that it causes them to have a deeper, fatter sounding voice.
when..