What is Batch Monkey?
1.
(n.) Commonly used to describe disgruntiled business owners that are unaware of the procedures needed to be taken in order to get paid from a credit card terminal, software, or POS device...
Most people who are "Batch Monky's" tend to believe that if they pay a monthly fee to run credit cards, it's everyones else responsibility to make certain they get money in THEIR pockets.
-- "You guys have no idea how to do your job, I haven't gotten a deposit in 3 weeks!!
WTF is wrong with you assholes. I WANT MY MONEY NOW!! I pay you guys every month, WHERE'S MY MONEY?!"
--"Well, sir/ma'am it's standard credit card processing procedure that you close your batch every evening after business, you're missing $34,596.94 as a deposit?! Simply close your batch!"
--"No one told me that I had to do that! Okay, I'll press the CLOSE BATCH button next time, THANKS... Goodbye"
--"Thank you for calling anyway...(click) you
Batch Monkey Ass MothaFucka, do MY job. Heh!"
See