What is Bears?
1.
The greates threat to America (and therefore the democratic world).
I you don't believe that bears are the greatest threat, obviously you haven't paid attention to the source of all facts, Stephen Colbert!
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2.
A terrifying beast that will literally rip your face of just so that he can show his bear buddies how stupid you look. A bear will fuck your mother while fingering your little sister and then eat your pancreas while drilling a hole in the top of your head and then pissing up your nose an out that hole.
A bear can swallow an orange and shit out a new world religion.
When you see waves at the beach, its because the ocean is trying to escape from bears who feel like swimming.
A retarded boy from Wisconsin once hugged a bear on a camping trip long ago. That boy turned out to be Jesus.
The Space Shuttle was originally created to escape from Bears and find a new bear-free planet. The Appollo and Columbia shuttles had the misfortune of not bear-proofing the doors.
The Extinction of the Dinosaurs was actually caused by one Bear and 7 Beers.
Friday the 13th is based on the true story of a Bear who got bored on day.
A Grizzly from Northern Canada has more friends on Myspace than Tom.
God decided one day to fight a Bear in one of his forests. The outcome resulted in the forest becoming the Sahara Desert and God becoming Anna Nicole Smith.
Bears
"Hey, I heard Chuck Norris died yesterday." "Yeah, he made a Bear joke in public."
"How did Jeff die?" "A Bear" "A Bear ate him?" "No, it hit him while going 60 in a 03 Toyota."
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3.
They are godless killing machines.
Stephen Colbert : Bears don't pray because they are godless killing machines.
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4.
Greatest Football Team EVER
Da Bears are da greatest team ever
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5.
The term "Bears" has been a long standing slang term to refer to any member in law enforcement. The term was originally made popular in America by CB operators.
"Tom, this is Joe, I got a twenty on a couple Bears up here on mile marker 29. Over."
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6.
Hairy gay men. In September 2007 in Melkweg Amsterdam there was the first Mr FurBall Election. You could choose Mr Furball from the hairy candidates.
FurBall is the Amsterdam Hairy Men Dance Party ... for all kind of hairy and butch men. This party attracts Bears, musclebears, otters, cubs, (smooth) admirers and everybody who likes hairy men. Check out the famous bear band bearforce 1!
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7.
Bears are large furry carnivores of the family Ursidae. Large bears can measure up to 14 feet tall when standing on their hind legs, and 2000 pounds (1 ton). Bears are found all over the world, but generally speak with pronounced
Me: Whats up?
Bears: Здравствулте, товарищ!
Me: Lets drink vodka!
Bears: Да!
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