What is Because You Touch Yourself At Night?
1.
The response to any "why" question that anyone asks you.
Young Peter: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Tour Guide: Because you touch yourself at night.
2.
The truly ultimate responce to any kind of stupid or annoying "why" question, or simply to a question you cannot answer.
That answer will totally piss off annoying kids who ask too many questions.
See also:
Kid: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.
Son: Why do you drink so much, dad?
Dad: Because you touch yourself at night!
Little brother: Why don't you ever let me into your room?
Big brother: Because you touch yourself at night, you little brat!
See
3.
a funny phrase to say after any question
Friend: Why do i suck?
Me: Because you touch yourself at night
See