What is Because You Touch Yourself At Night?

1.

The response to any "why" question that anyone asks you.

Young Peter: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?

Tour Guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

2.

The truly ultimate responce to any kind of stupid or annoying "why" question, or simply to a question you cannot answer.

That answer will totally piss off annoying kids who ask too many questions.

See also: because you're gay.

Kid: Why did the dinosaurs die out?

Tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Son: Why do you drink so much, dad?

Dad: Because you touch yourself at night!

Little brother: Why don't you ever let me into your room?

Big brother: Because you touch yourself at night, you little brat!

See because you're gay

3.

a funny phrase to say after any question

Friend: Why do i suck?

Me: Because you touch yourself at night

See because, you, touch, yourself, at, night
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