What is Beer Snob?
1.
The unfair term given to those who enjoy high quality beer. They are often accused of being snobbish and looking down on others, or are thought merely to drink beer of higher quality than Bud, Miller, and Coors to feel or act superior to their peers. A better term is beer connoisseur.
"Hey Joe, you're not drinking, what's up? We have 5 kegs of Natty." -Bill
"No thanks" -Joe
"What gives bro, are you Mormon or something?" -Bill
"No, I just like beer like Sam Adams and Dogfish Head" -Joe
"You f---ing beer snob!" - Bill
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2.
Those individuals who regard any beer that they do not drink as <insert 4 legged mammal here> piss. Completely ignorant of climate, context, and social class, beer snobs are contemptuously dismissive of any beer that a mortal cannot walk across like Jesus Christ did across the water.
Beer snobs are tedious bores, assuming that any beer which doesn't meet their definition of "adequately pretentious" is drunk out of ignorance.
"Here, have this Pacifico."
"I don't drink goat piss. Give me a Schteupereiner - warm! With a fork and knife!"
"It's 104 degrees out."
"So?"
"We don't have any Schteupereiner. All we have is this, which our daughter brought home from college. It's some kind of microbrew from Oregon, something called "Neu Dungcastle Pine Chocolate Honey Garlic Walnut Porter."
"Does it cost at least $12.00 for a six pack?"
"I don't know. It looks like she just bought the bottle for...it looks like $8.00."
"Yeah, gimme that. You are philistines, the lot of you! And make sure you give me a room temperature glass! I don't want any condensation on those chilled glasses you keep around watering down my beer!"
"Here you go!"
"THAT....is a PILSENER GLASS. Are you trying to start shit?"
"You sir, are a motherfucking beer snob - a relentless elitist of poor character and abject dicketry. And now, you die. ENGARDE!"
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3.
The kind of person who goes to a party and complains if the beer is a brand that costs less than $10 for a six-pack.
"Why hasn't Jeff gotten a beer yet."
"He only drinks expensive imports and microbrews. He thinks he's too good to drink Bud Light with the rest of us peasents. Fucking beer snob."
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4.
Someone who is anal picky about their beer, rather than the fact that it's beer. Period.
Friend "Hey lets get some coors light!"
Snob "Psh, thats like 4%, AND I don't like the taste."
Friend "WTF? Its beer, what are you whining about?"
Snob "Whatever! I want my special beer!"
Friend "You're a freaking beer snob. You don't get any beer now."
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5.
Someone who drinks only beer that costs at least $8 USD a sixer.
"Let's get a case of natty light."
"No, I'm a beer snob."
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