What is Bible?
1.
An ancient novel full of murder, corruption, homosexuality, bestiality, incest and cruelty. It is often read to children on Sunday.
2.
The Bible is probably the best book ever. You can use it as a coaster, hit people with it, look funny and quote it, eat the pages, fire fuel, toilet paper, start a war, control the stoopid people of the world, read it and become president, Hanaukkah present, piss off the Muslims, and turn back the clock.
I used my bible yesterday as a fiber subustitute.
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3.
what atheists hate
wow those atheists sure do hate the bible
4.
Old Testament: God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her " Apple or GTFO"(cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the former and then her and her fuck buddy Adam get b& from Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious fucking incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains a lot, really).
Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis; God Lol'd.
Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about god for him to fap to.
New Testament: God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some CP.
Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.
After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.
THE END
- By Noah McHugh
I read the bible, it was epic as hell.
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5.
The bible, the most widely used form of propaganda and control in the world. The followers of the relegion are blindly following a god that punishes others for not following him...Example, "hell". Those who know of the crusades a long time ago know that this "god" isnt exactly "good". What god would kill his own people just because they dont want to follow him? That doesnt sound like a god to me...that sounds like a tyrant and evil abomanation...But hell, no one has proved that god exists...and no one has disproved it either...All we can do is wait for the truth to come to us. And if he does exist and sends me to hell, i dont care because I WOULD RATHER LIVE LIFE THE WAY I WANT THAN TO BLINDLY FOLLOW A TYRANT...
God is a method of control, maybe it is not the relegion or the god that is bad, but maybe the people of that relegion.
6.
The Bible is one of the oldest and most distributed books in the world. In the Middle Ages people were killed for reading or translating it, but today the Bible is readily available. Without the Bible we would not know the author--Jehovah--and what he purposes for mankind. The 40 different Bible writers were used by Jehovah in the same way someone would dictate a letter to a secretary. It gives the history of mankind, guidance, and exciting prophesy regarding the near future. The overall theme of the Bible is the "Kingdom of God"--the solution to man's problems.
Dude, before you bash the Bible try reading a little first.
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7.
A tremendous book that cultivates the
The Bible helped me stop masturbating and taught me the value of
space docking with God.
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