What is Born Again Christian?
1.
-A fail-safe term use, incase their is a heaven.
-Someone who is experiencing hard times, who is willing to accept anything to save them from dispair, even to go as low as christianity.
-About as difficult as writing your name down on a peice of paper
Tom: Hey Mark, I became a born again christian!!!
Mark: Wow man, I can relate, today I was able to bounce a ball of the wall and catch it!
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2.
Someone who rebels against their upbringing in force so much, that they become a jerk, drug addict, alcoholic, sex addict, or possibly worse, but in later life they become terrified of the inevitable end, and go back to a sober, penitent and pious lifestyle. Such a person is also terrified of the possibility of hell, as may be dictated in a religious upbringing. Such a person then, in order to cancel out all fear of death, and possibility of hell actually existing, will take out a Hell Insurance Policy at the local fire and brimstone church, by paying out his unquestioning obedience to dogma, and giving his soul to (a usually white and conservative) Jesus, in return for a place in eternal heaven.
Born again christians tend to be highly conservative in politics, and regularly ostracize minorities, non-Christians and Catholics, as well as try to demonstrate unquestioning loyalty to a conservative political establishment. Militarism is also quite common as well. This pattern of behavior amongst working-class caucasians of European extraction, is common in the American South and Midwest, and especially in Northern Ireland.
Calvinism, a miserable interpretation of protestantism which exemplifies self-denial and hatred of the body, as well as ideation of salvation, is the cultural source of the born again phenomenon, as well as the tent revival phenomenon of the earlier 20th century. Calvinists were removed from England before and after Cromwell in the 17th century, (due to ruining everyone's fun), transplanted into Ulster and persecuted by the Gaelic Catholic locals (when they yet again, ruined their fun with teetotalism), and finally relocated to the US to inflict their misery on the Native Americans. They then splintered off into either mainstream, or wackjob/Pentecostal/etc etc. churches, depending on the education level and social class of parishoners. The less educated a person was, the more likely they were to embrace a sort of folk, pagan, voodoo interpretation of the bible, including 'healing', 'laying on of hands', 'speaking in tongues' and other occult activities.
When the 20th century media began to broadcast radio and television, this folk religion suddenly had unbelievable resources, and became the 'born again' movement you see today, funded by TV preachers begging for money nationwide, from born again christians who want to spend their money on securing eternal life instead of booze, drugs, or women.
After watching Oral Roberts on T.V. I done becum a born again christian, and I told my son to take that there WeeGee board to the barbecue on the patio and set it a-fire. Well if'n Satan didn't come right down and ex-plode that there board the second he lit it a-fire, and we could hear that WeeJee board demon a-screechin' and hollerin' while we stood there and prayed, and I knew that both our souls were saved, Amen. (Jump around like your legs are on fire.)
OR: (Northern Ireland)
Uff yee can't come tae tairms wit the concept of eternal daum-nee-a-shun? Ut us on the heead a-yee? Tae breng the ward o' Jaysus Christ intae yer life? Ond be as barn a-gee-yun? Wha' wit the sen we surroound ar-see-yulves witoot knowledge er conscience? Ond remee-yumber thot the Beast lies just streets away from us, en blessful eggnorance! Supportin' the daum-nable Papal demon? Ond their gutter-language of tribal nonsense instee-yud o' good English custom?....(peter out and fall asleep.)
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3.
person who renounces the current lifestyle they are living and becomes a christen. commonly happens to people whom have several near death experiences with drugs. very scary thing when it happens because someone is was usually very cool and hip suddenly become brain washed worshiper of a mythical being. they will never listen to reason and rarely return to the dark side.
they were really cool 80's rockers until their best friend died from a heroin overdose. now the have repented and become born again christians.
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4.
a trade of logic for hope
(if you lack logic anyway, then you get it for free)
born again christian: i just FEEL the bright future ahead of me..
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5.
a phony ass who finds it necessary to pretend to be a philosopher just because they believe in divine intervention.
"born again christians are all asses." Said the gremlin of the forest.
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6.
"born again Christian"meaning they are once again as pure as a virgin, or the virgin Mary.
A person after being a slut for many years decides I am a "born again Christian". To repress any negative feelings about being a slut.
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7.
someone who realised that they sinned against god and without repantance of sin they know that they are going to a very dark and disturbing place called hell. This person asks jesus to come and be the lord of their life and in return jesus fills you with the holy spirit.(being born of the spirit). our spirits are dead untill we recieve jesus.
Gods commands: have you lied? stolen, lusted, used god's name in vain? if you have done any of these things even once you are not worthy to go to heaven. Thats we need to become born again christians recieve Jesus for forgivness and to experience true love
e.g Tom realised that no matter how good his deeds were he still could'nt get into heaven. he knew that jesus paid the price for our sins and excepted him to be lord of his life.
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