What is Buffalo Sex?
1.
Buffalo Sex has nothing to do with Buffalos but rather with Buffulonians--Not those weird animals roaming the Great Planes--but those poor souls stuck in plain Buffalo, a town of little attraction beset by looming, slack boredom.
Buffalo Sex is any number of the mundane activities of the local inhabitants, used to pass the lonely hours of the long, cold winters in lack of more entertaining or meaningful options of which there are but few. Buffalo Sex is any unexciting passtime, as (un)sexy than the city itself.
The term was coined after the pathetic sexual habits of the locals, i.e., brief sessions of masturbatory scratching, ending anticlimatically or a going-through-the-motions coitus.
However, as its currency spread the term acquired more metaphorical meanings which have nothing to do with sex per se. Although coined after the sorry habits of Buffalo locals, Buffalo Sex is a widespread practice with lots of sub-genres and slippery phenomenology; it is therefore, sometimes hard to detect.
Buffalo Sex could be but is not limited to: 1) Mending old socks.2)Zapping on 3AM on a Monday.3)Picking your nose. 4) Commuting to work.5) Commuting from work. 6) Eating a frozen TV dinner, frozen.5)Popping zits.
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2.
Buffalo sex: Contrary to popular oppinion, the definition of this term has absolutely nothing to do with the mating habits of these hairy beasts, but rather refers to the beastialic urges of the attention-starved plainsmen who live where the Buffalo roam. It is important to understand that the Great Plains of the United States can be a very lonely place, thus, only those with poor social skills and little or no sexual prowess choose to call them home. However, those who do have only two things in mind when settling down in the grasslands: freedom from the toils of trying to make friends and the hot and steamy relations they can have with any buffalo that happens to stray away from its herd. Now, buffalos are not weak creatures. They're strong and hairy and unevenly tempered. So, in order to successfully "recreate" with one it is required that you: (a.) tame it by feeding it and getting it used to being petted, or (b.) (this is the easier and much more popular approach), you throw a large buffalo hide over your head, get a buck to chase you and, as nature takes over the beast's simple mind, you proceed to let it mount and mate.
"I have buffalo sex and like it."
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