What is Cameltoaster?
1.
In the sphere of SUNBATHING, beaches, brief bikini-pants and those who wear them, CAMELTOASTER refers both to a lady who TOASTS her CAMEL TOE and to the scanty PANTRY APPAREL which enables her to do so.
Obliged by social convention and public beach regulations to cover the crucial crevice , a lady who wishes to TAN her TANDOORI and toast the muffin in the rays of the sun, may achieve a PARTIAL compromise by wearing the thinnest of thongs to cover the cleft on her private peach .
Long before the sun has set, the average beach is the setting for a performance of a popular HA'PENNY CLOPPERA , when the following CAMELTOASTER phenomena may be observed:
(1) CAMEL TOGA : a beach-towel tied around a lady's waist, to modestly screen her camel toe from public view, on the journey to and from the beach.
(2) CAMEL TOKEN: a nascent, junior camel toe, of modest size and appearance.
(3) CAMEL TOPIARY : a discreetly-displayed exhibition of a neatly-trimmedbikini line , where a cunning peachcomber has artfully left a few fronds of manicured bush tantalisingly visible at the edges of the gusset .
(4) TOTAL TOTE R or TOASTER - SLUT : A virtual exhibitionist . A boastful cameltoaster, who has deliberately wedge d her thong into the SLIT of her Melba Toaster , hitching it up as high as her ha'penny . She may be seen restlessly strutting around the beach, brazenly toting the toe and seeking an admiring, male audience. In the heat of a high sun, her ample charms are visibly shimmering and audibly sizzling with surplus sun-tan oil and melba embrocation .
(5) TOAD FACE : the creased countenance and leathery, wrinkled features revealed by a senior TOTER whose spam-garter has become laterally and totally displaced. The owner of this ageing property is characteristically bold, self-satisfied and totally unembarrassed.
(6) CAMEL TOENAIL: a camel toe formation in which a minogue is clearly approaching jackie -mode, as it stretches out to enjoy the unaccustomed sunshine.
(7) CAMEL TOASTIE : where a camel toenail of a particularly crisp and hard appearance has grown to achieve the distinctive shape of a THIRD camel toe .
(8) SHYLOCKS: nonconformist LOCKS of hair from a shaggy but well-behaved blumenthal , which SHYLY appear beyond the bikini line. These seem particularly appropriate, if the lady whose parts they adorn is of a comfortably well-rounded and Rubenesque appearance.
(9) BLOATER: a bloated, over-heated KIPPER FILLET, boiling in its own tropical juice , the enormity of whose poutrage compels it to burst out spontaneously far beyond the bounds of bikini line conformity. A heiferlump on holiday, displaying a generous, free spirit. A bush-baby whose birthday suit naturally defies the confines of a conventional nappy . There is a welcome innocence and lack of artifice or contrivance in its appearance. This is no passive prisoner of the thong , nor unthinking follower of fashion, but a personality in its own right, whose buoyantbobbie no doubt has a will of its own.
See lumphinnans , crustacean , heaven below , where the sun doesn't shine , bikini atoll , palmistry , Persson
2.
As defined by author Persson.
ADDENDUM to the categories of CAMELTOASTER:
(10) CAMEL HUMP: an unusually large and protuberant mons veneris or pubic mound , barely contained by the lady's slender spam-garter , bulging outwards just above the camel toe itself. This BUSH -BELLY or TAJMA HOLE TUMMY would enable its bearer to survive in the heat of the Sahara, or on Bondi Beach, for up to two weeks without any other sustenance.
See bush-baby , carnal , canteen , sorority , cistern , gobi , gusset , Persson
Obliged by social convention and public beach regulations to cover the
Long before the sun has set, the average beach is the setting for a performance of a popular
(1) CAMEL
(2) CAMEL TOKEN: a nascent, junior camel toe, of modest size and appearance.
(3) CAMEL
(4) TOTAL
(5) TOAD
(6) CAMEL TOENAIL: a camel toe formation in which a
(7) CAMEL
(8) SHYLOCKS: nonconformist
(9) BLOATER: a bloated, over-heated KIPPER FILLET,
As defined by author Persson.
ADDENDUM to the categories of CAMELTOASTER:
(10) CAMEL HUMP: an unusually large and protuberant
mons veneris orpubic mound , barely contained by the lady's slenderspam-garter , bulging outwards just above thecamel toe itself. ThisBUSH -BELLY or TAJMA HOLETUMMY would enable its bearer to survive in the heat of the Sahara, or on Bondi Beach, for up to two weeks without any other sustenance.
See
