Candlelight Dinner

What is Candlelight Dinner?


1.

A glorified, self-inflicted power outage during which two individuals stare across an elaborately decorated table at one another and giggle in a repulsive manner while exchanging empty, flirtatious cliches. Expensive alchoholic beverages are usually consumed as well as a light, fancy meal that no one involved really notices. A two-candle illumination is the generally accepted method when having a candlelight dinner although Napalm Nancy (currently spending 12 years in prison for 8 counts of arson) shocked the romance experts by using 8 bunsen burners and 12 propane torches.

Usually reserved and overused for Valentine's Day, first dates and marriage proposals.

"Hey, um, so like you wanna come over to my house for a candlelight dinner? Maybe watch a movie afterwards or somethin', I dunno."

*moronic giggle* "Sure, Josh!"

2.

The mainstream's materialistic expression of what they call "love". People waste literally hundreds of dollars, if not thousands, on the food, the alcohol, and the special clothes (apparently, it's not cool enough to wear a t-shirt and some pants or a top and pants/skirt..People who take part in candlelight dinners must wear a suit or a dress). These are usually followed by sexual favors afterwards. To me, the whole thing is too much like prostitution. What else would you call sex for material objects, such as food?

Finally, you won't see me at one of those..ever.

Brandon and his whore were having a candlelight dinner, to be followed by a night of "romantic" pseudo-sex and calling each "snookums" in idiotic voices.


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