What is Canute?
1.
A lady's MAFEKING!
The miniature monarch of the mafting minge and CUTE controller of the carnal CANOE .
An apt icon of RIGOR VITAE* in the pink pantry , the proud , majestic clitoris known as the CANUTE performs an essential service , acting as gusset gauge and thatch thermometer and indicating the voltagious ness of its owner's trickle charger .
Sexy Saxon KING CANUTE famously demonstrated to his fawning subjects that even the most powerful monarch could not hold back the tide.
Many centuries later, Mrs Queen ie Blumenthal , the formidable mistress of the property at 69 Wisteria Drive , found herself at the mercy of massive waves of passion .
"My bud - though bold , brave and ever-buoyant - is but a barometer of my emotions and does not control them," she explained to her exasperated spouse .
"But, my dear," the patient fellow suggested gently, "perhaps you might calm down a bit if you took your hand off the beaver-leaver occasionally. It does seem to make you over-excited ."
"Huh!" the modern QUEEN CANUTE retorted, "men just don't understand these things."
(*Literally "stiffness of life" - the opposite of rigor mortis .)
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An
Many centuries later,
"My
"But, my dear," the patient fellow suggested gently, "perhaps you might
"Huh!" the modern QUEEN CANUTE retorted, "men just don't understand these things."
(*Literally "stiffness of life" - the opposite of
