What is Captain Alcohol?
1.
A 21+ good Samaritan who regularly uses the power of his/her age to obtain fun-fun juice for younger, less privileged souls.
Note: You can recognize a true Captain Alcohol when the nearest liquor store no longer asks to see identification because this person purchases alcohol so often.
Commonly shouted at 10:30pm, from the top of a 20-foot ladder, covered in paint, sawdust and holding a broken piece of molding: "Guys, have we assigned a Captain alcohol yet?"
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Sex standing up, the opposite of horizontal jogging.
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