What is Cardiomasterbation?
1.
To make a stabbing motion towards your chest, directly over your heart. Named so, because it looks as though you are jerking off your heart's imaginary penis.
"I just finished watching Norbit and the Adventure of Pluto Nash, I want to kill myself." (Then proceeds with cardiomasterbation)
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1.
When you use the shitty buds that apple gives you and it stretches out the inside of your ears to fit in place. Thus causing the ear ach..