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A stoner column is a long growth of hair from the chin not atypical of male stoners. It is basically a goatee without the mustache.
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A chick with a cock canyon is a chick that has had a lot of sex with persons or herself leading her vagina to be a canyon for cocks.
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Not to be confused with anal sex, Shanalsecks is the act of having sex with the outrageously sexy and magnificently pleasuring male pros..