What is Charvae?
1.
Noun, plural term for the Newcastle
'Charvae think they're scary and hard, but in fact they're just very, very, VERY funny' or 'charvae are like larvae, except they don't grow'
2.
The plural term for the Newcastle 'charva', usually the name given to the swine-hordes of morons who make up approximately one half of the native Newcastle population. Their numbers are maintained by the inbreeding of charvae at approx 14 years old, which results in accidental pregnancy and produces the next generation of unwanted children. The prospects of being taught to use their brains, be educated, make a contribution to history, earn money, learn a trade or possess self-esteem are woefully low and means that we all feel sorry for charva under-fives. If they reach 14, then the cycle will repeat itself.
Charvae are distinct even when naked, because of their gaunt appearance and the look of borrowed flesh, hanging loose from their bones due to their peculiar dietary habits which leads them to malnourishment. The charva food-cupboard
comprises tinned hot-dogs, baked beans, pasta'n'sauce (for the posher ones)and may even stretch to a packet of dairylea, all bought in mountainous bulk on giro day from Netto (or maybe Morrisons if they're walking home.) White cider is the chosen beverage, which is taken several times a day at intervals, with class B drugs. Celebratory splash-out meals are had from time to time, when charvae 'get raj' at McDonalds.
Despite being pathetic, doomed losers and non-achievers, creatures that we all wish to help, charvae do have value, as they are walking, breathing examples of the importance of birth control.
'charvae are like larvae, but they can never grow.'
