What is Charver?
1.
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This variety of (allegedly) human beings mainly habitate streets in the North East of England. Female charvers are recognised by their rock-solid fringes, loop earings large enough to be used as truck wheels, and the collection of scrunchies in their hair. The males are less distinctive, but can be differentiated from other breeds of human by the distinct lack of any common sense. The common charver hangs in herds of up to twenty, and can be easily tracked by following the clouds of cigarette smoke.
The charver reaches motherhood age at approximately 13 years, and gives birth to usually one live young. The charver will have many mates during it's lifetime.
Charver pastimes include smoking, scaring old people, and bullying young people. In the absense of other species to bully, the charver will turn on it's own kind.
No, we can't go shopping today, the charvers are after me again.
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2.
Strange, burberry-clad untermenschen who hang around street corners, prefix every sentance with 'Eh?' and listen to music that sounds like its been made on Dance EJay and speeded up a hundred times. Males of the species wear thick striped jumpers and rockports, tabs are optional. Female charvers wear earings the size of hubcaps and get pregnant at 13 so they can claim child benefits and get a cheapo flat. The wearing of berghaus coats, usually of a nasty shade of green or blue, is compulsory, as is talking like a complete retard and lacking any modicum of common sense whatsoever.
Typical charver phrases:
'Eh, I'll stab you in the foot!'
'Eh, what ye deein?'
'Eh, nar like!
3.
A Charver is a sub-species of the human race. Occasionally a perfectly normal family will give birth to one of these creatures. In ancient times, survival of the fittest nearly always killed of these unfortunates. However, thanks to Clement Atlee and the Welfare State, they now have a means to survive. Several different types of charver exist- True Charvers, who have an average IQ score roughly the same as a snail, and find it funny to drink, smoke, sleep with young girls/old men and fight one another. Then there are Scum Charvers, like True charvers, but average at four foot ten in hight, and will only swear at you if they outnumber you twenty to one. There are several other varieties, such as townies, radgies etc. All varieties are native to the North East, especially Newcastle. Charvers are now spreading, and take hold whrever the welfare system can be manipulated.
Examples of charver talk
"Uh, got ten pence for some tabs how"
"Where am a? Idont remember goin to sleep here, man like how"
etc, etc
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4.
Serious illness from the north-east of england, symptoms include:
Burghaus and/or peter storm clothing
large ear-rings
large fringe
rockport shoes
smoking and/or drinking
come in large heards
harrasing
little or no common sense or intellagence
young motherhood
generly annoying
own accent and language
lets gan (go) down the shop for some scran (alcohol)and tabs (ciggeretes)
5.
Another word for chav but used mainly in the north east of England, particularly Newcastle.
They can be identified by many things including:
-Berghaus coats
-Stripy jumpers, Fred Perry and Henri Lloyd ones in particluar
-Adidas tracksuit bottoms with white socks over them
-Rockport boots
-Nike air max trainers
-Lacoste tracksuits
They tend to smoke and drink alot, usually drinking Sweaty/Lambrusco (A £1 wine) for the girls and cans of Fosters for the boys.
They listen to rave music, paticualarly makina with mc-ing over it, known as New Monkey. They will often go to a club in Sunderland called The New Monkey where they listen to these MC's, the most famous being MC Stompin, here they will take lots of pills and get wasted, proceed to the chillout room and get stone on tac (cheap cannabis resin)
They live on benefits or if there lucky McDonalds income.
They engage in underage sex and the females will often have kids by the age of 14.
They swear alot and use there own type of language.
Look at them charvers outside the off license.
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6.
Found in the north-east of the UK in Newcastle. Typically hang around street corners shouting abuse at people and smoking ciggarettes. Wear burghaus coats and rockport shoes and the famous stripy jumpers. The females like to spend ridiculous amounts of hairspray on their fringes. The scum of Newcastle. They use such phrases as: "Well aye" "I'm gaan ken to get some scran" "Here man you c*nt!" They always fiercly deny their charver-ism. I don't blame them.
7.
in my opinion there are 2 main species in this world male and female, then theres charvers, the average chaver, insists on listening to sean-paul and techno music- the girls put there make-up on with an ice cream scoop, the boys put a tub of superdrug value on there hardle-non-existant hair- they walk like they have piles- they never have heard of contraception as they got kicked out of school when they were 8 and took a building corse , were they learn to cement bricks together, so by the time there 12 theyve produced a herd of offspring-when they have there children they dress them like a clone of there parents in fake burberry, burberry in general is tacky enough, and addidas trainers, with plated 'gold' earings that look more like bracelets with hiddeuos patterns fashioned around the edges-they hang around on street corners drinking shoving a fag down there babys mouth and shout at passers-by.
go to ur nearest bus-shelter and shout names such as brtiney-casey-jade or mercedes
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