What is Chav Speech?
1.
The term given to the noises that the inner-city, worthless, pieces of shite that have passing resemblance to homo sapiens, make when attempting to communicate with each other. Given that these living abortions have no grey matter to start with, it is a fuckin miracle that they can even make noises.
Warning, when a chav emits a loud noise in your direction it would possibly indicate it has seen you and it is gearing up to attack. In this case, I would advise doing the gene-pool a favour and blowing its fuckin head off. If you don't happen to have a 12-bore to hand, I recommend running. If you happen to be in charge of a vehicle.... well you know what the right thing is that needs to be done.
Chav scum: "grunt, ugg oog, oh-oh , innit"
Normal human: "Oh I'm sorry, is that chav speech you are making?"
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2.
Writing in 'Chav Speech' was actually invented for keyboards and typewriters as a means for taking quicker, easier and effective minutes in a meeting. - Original source: Mr J Swift.
Below is a perfect example of writing 'chav speech'.
if i reli wanted 2 talk proper on ere rite i wud cud but i dont wanna. it fairly obvious tat i can cos gd uni's dnt accpet thicko's. and puttin dear phil, well, just 2 inform u my dear sarcasm is the lowest form of wit and my education is seperate from my social life cos i consider it 2 be quite stuck up thinkin ur above sum1 just cos u speak proper. i have brains love i just exercise it as was n wen i need 2. oh n ur just as phsychic as me, sayin i can only talk in text speak, wen i can actually rite proper, liek i sed.
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