What is Chavampire?
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Vampires who love Burberry and will suck the life out of you by spraying you with Lynx. Allergic to rock music, they find their power in heavy gold jewellery (hooped earrings for the females, thick chains for the males). If their power source is stolen or taken, they will scream “You’re well gonna get beatin’s!” before bursting into flames and dying.
The chavampire howled in pain as a spork was thrust through its' intestines.
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