What is Chris Stark?
1.
noun - a fat fuck. An obese, sub-mediocre nobody who demonstrates the following characteristics: smokes several packs of generic cigarettes per day (see Sun Dance); drinks several liters of carbonated soda (see Pepsi, Coke) per day; who bowls regularly and generally sucks at everything. A Chris Stark is characterized by early childhood success that diminishes as the person grows older because of the Chris Stark's laziness and sloth. To be a true Chris Stark, a person's parents must think their child is above reproach and is god's gift to everything.
verb - the act of sucking at everything. To consistently demonstrate characteristics of laziness and non-ambition. To do nothing and while doing nothing, to do it in a shitty fashion.
adjective - knowlingly lazy and unmotivated. Willing to suck at everything. Extremely fat and unappealing. Sloth-like.
John: "What happened to Seth? Last time I saw him he was working and was like 185 lbs. I heard he's now like 300 lbs.!"
Tim: "Poor bastard lost his job and became a Chris Stark. He sits on his couch and smokes cigs. He doesn't do anything all day."
John Madden: "I would say that the failures of the 2008 Detroit Lions season was because their entire roster was horrible. A good high school JV team could have beaten them. From top to bottom, their players were terrible, below average, sucked, and blew. With a roster littered with Chris Stark players, it's no wonder they were 0 - 16."
Shamiqua: "Nay-Nay, why you break up wit' yo' man, girl?"
Nay-Nay: "That bitch ass nigga was a lazy piece of shit. He was a fat fuck that ain't give me no dough fo' my hair or my living expenses. I ain't got no time for a Chris Stark nigga like 'dat, I gotsta find me a real suga' daddy."
Shamiqua: "True. You ain't want no broke ass Christ Stark nigga bringin' you down girl."
See
