Cigaretiquette

What is Cigaretiquette?


1.

Preamble:

Whereas smokers have been relegated to the status of second-class citizens and thus have a fraternal bond to one another, the intent of this statute is to promote the spirit of the society of smokers and prevent abuse of the same.

Definitions:

Bum: One who asks for a cigarette

Holder: One who has cigarettes

(1) - A holder is obligated to provide a cigarette to a bum upon request given in a reasonably polite way, UNLESS:

(A) - The bum has already requested one or more cigarettes from the holder in the course of a 24-hour period, OR

(B) - The bum is notorious, OR

(C) - "Last Smoke Exception" : The holder has only a single cigarette left.

(D) Sections (1)(A-C) do not apply if the bum is a hot.

(2) - Upon receipt of a cigarette, a bum is obligated to engage the holder in polite conversation UNTIL:

(A) - A reasonable time lapses, OR

(B) - The holder signals that no further conversation is necessary

(3) - A holder is always obligated to provide a light to a bum.

Bum: "Hey man, can I get a smoke?"

Holder: "Hell no, buy your own!"

Bum: "Dude, poor cigaretiquette."

See cigarette, etiquette, smoke, bum, lighter

2.

A noun referring to the manners employed during smoking cigars or cigarettes

Smoking in a car with a non-smoker with the windows rolled up is poor cigaretiquette

See smoking, cigars, cigarettes, manners

3.

Unspoken set of rules among smokers and non-smokers for cigarette-related situations.

Proper cigaretiquette includes never asking to bum a cigarette from someone with less than 4 in their pack, lighting someone's cigarette when they don't have a lighter, and always asking if smoking is acceptable when in a non-smoker's car.

See cigarettes, smoking, etiquette, smoke, manners


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