Closure Edit Meaning

1.

1. To attempt to 'move on' following the termination of a relationship with another individual.

2. When used in a sentence, insinuates that the individual using the word is the same individual who was the target of the 'break-up'.

3. A word used by overly-emotional, self-centered 'drama queens' (mostly women and gay men).

4. Individuals using this word generally will utter the word 'chapter' during their often one-sided conversations.

5. A word created during the 90's which was borne out of individuals unable to cope with relationship failure.

6. Individuals using this word insinuate that the more stable party is responsible for all of the 'closured' individual's problems, as well as the War in Iraq, airbag safety issues, the Democratic National Convention, dustless chalk, nipples on men, PMS, and bad-hair days.

Betsy: So whadda' you think, Donna?

Donna: Well, you gotta' let me read the damn thing!

Betsy: Okay, okay... sorry!

Donna: (Reads out loud)

Dear Betsy,

It has been four long months and I

can no longer be party to this

relationship. Yes, you do have the

finest body I've ever seen, and as

you have repeatedly told me, no one

gives better head. I understand our

college football and baseball teams

can confirm this as well. Honestly,

the fact that you have slept with

everyone in the faculty is not the

problem I'm having. The problem is

your hygiene. Most women clean

themselves off after sex... the

corners of the mouth, the pearl

necklace... and, umm, you know what I

mean. If you at least brushed your

teeth each day, your dentist wouldn't

have to contend with the variety of

pubic hair in your mouth.

I'm sorry, Betsy, but I need a woman

with standards... any kind of

standards. Just not you.

You suck,

Dave

Betsy: Well?? What do you think?

Donna: Well, you do need to brush. That's gross.

Betsy: I NEED CLOSURE!

Donna: No, you need a life, you self-centered drama queen!

Betsy: Oh! Another chapter in my life ends!

Donna: Don't start with me, bitch.

See closure, chapter, drama queen, relationship, failure, women, gays

2.

the final step in the grieving process; figurative 'scar tissue'

After all these years of crying over Tim, i still havent found closure.

See DUH

3.

when you rid yo self of problems.

I've finally found closure!

4.

So I took this chick's new webcam and I strangled her with it. Then I peed in her butt and stapled it shut.

I got closure by acting out the above definition.