Cnbc

What is Cnbc?


1.

Consumer News and Business Channel (CNBC for short); owned by General Electric that provides business and consumer based programming covering the stock market, world currency and events that affect the economy. Primarily watched by people with over 90% of their total networth in stock market, who haven't yet come to terms with the notion of diversification.

Also the only network to date, who has been able to do the impossible -- which is combine extremely hot women who also happen to be extremely smart, which is a rarity (ie. Liz Claman, Maria Bartiromo and Bertha Coombs)

Dude, turn it on cnbc, I just bought some AAPL stock yesterday

2.

An investing news network on cable. CNBC used to complain that the government over regulated and made capital too difficult to obtain. After the financial fallout due to lack of regulation and easy money, CNBC now complains about the government bailouts and stimulus packages.

I watch CNBC when there are no good info-commercials on.

See kramer, mad money, wall street

3.

1. a mysteriously popular forum for professional sharks to fob off underperforming investments onto gullible amateur investors- particularly targeting the elderly and mentally incompentent.

2. a media outlet for stale news that has circulated through wall street and already been entirely priced in. see 1.

3. a t.v. channel where demi-literate carpetbaggers, carneys, and cockgobblers are invited on to maunder and prevaricate and thereby encourage everyone to throw their money away.

4. an eye magnet for bored, horny, attention-deficit disordered wall streeters

"That fat guy on cnbc just said the new economy would last forever and I should leverage my retirement savings into Sycamore Networks, MicroStrategy and I2 Technologies."

"That chick on cnbc might be stupid but she is hot. She has some dick-sucking lips."

"There is a fat hyperactive gremlin with a ritalin problem on cnbc with his own show, called MadMoney. He is a testament to special education in this country."

See nasdaq, fbd


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