Cognitive Impaction Edit Meaning

1.

Noun:

Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.

Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.

Also see mental constipation.

"Overwhelmed at the prospect of having the bounty of an entire doughnut shop all to himself, Homer immediately suffered a massive cognitive impaction that reduced him to little more than a drooling mass of manflesh."