What is Colchester Condom?
1.
Anal Sex. The method of birth control where insemination is avoided by putting your wang up the wrong hole. Derived from Colchester military prison in Essex, UK where presumably a lot of Brit soldiers do each other up the gicker.
Woman - "We're going to have to stop, I'm off the pill"
Man - "Don't worry about it love, I'll use me Colchester Condom"
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Usually followed by a rudimentary concept, indicates to the listener that they have made an idiotic misintepretation that a child could ..